Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Weekend Scene Contract

Having a contract drafted for weekend submission has a few benefits; first and foremost it makes sure that both parties are on the same page as to the expectations, limitations, and concessions that have been made. In addition to that, having a boy read through the contract before signing it at the start of the weekend can be a huge mindfuck as he's being very blatantly reminded of what he's about to endure. I was under the impression that most contracts (particularly regarding rape) may not be enforceable, but stumbled upon this article on some rather draconian aspects of modern rape prosecution. At any rate, if a scene goes so badly that a sub is seeking prosecution under the law there's probably some serious ineptitude on the Dom's part, but it still never hurts to have some modicum of protection in the event a sub isn't mature enough to accept responsibility for mistakenly requesting what he did.

That being said, I recently went hunting for a contract that would be suitable and stumbled upon one that had some language I really liked. Essentially, rather than just detailing limits and expectations it goes so far as to itemize a number of things that might be prosecuted under law as items for which consent is expressly waived. This particular contract goes far enough to even detail allowing castration or similar mutilation, but the important part of the contract is more the language leading into the itemization. As an added safeguard, it also appoints the Dom as "attorney-in-fact" in the event of a medical emergency where the sub may be incapacitated. It's rather long so I'm including it after the jump, but it should be fairly easy to modify for any scene.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

My IML in Photos

So I'd been dealing with some things which resulted in my sex drive being totally shot for a while. IML really helped rejuvenate it a good bit, and finally getting back into the swing of things. That being said, I thought I'd share some photos from my IML this year for anyone who's considered going but found a reason (other than financial, of course) not to. A number of them are already up on Twitter, but I figured I'd condense them here. A lot more went on of course, but I get a little too focused on the action to take a photo. The boy getting tied in the first photo ended up getting off 6 times in just under two hours, and *still* wasn't shooting blanks.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Confidence and Pride

The most important trait a kinkster can strive for is confidence. While a lot of dynamics require other traits (stoicism, for instance), confidence is what makes it all possible. Without confidence you can't express your interests to others to find the experience you need to explore these parts of yourself. Without confidence you're more likely to feel shame than pride or even curiosity. Without confidence you'll wistfully jerk off to porn instead of living your fantasies.

Our current sense of morality somehow never grew out of feudal times, when kings, and priests held all the power in the land. From their thrones they issued edicts under the premise that they knew better than their underlings, and in some instances they genuinely did. It's because of this ideology that our moral code completely ignores the concept of consent; when it was developed, it was believed that the adults of the land could not be trusted to make their own decisions. In a country where 99% of its population can read/write and 80% of its population has access to the internet - and, thus, the wealth of human knowledge - this sort of ideology is complete and utter bullshit.

Having this moral code sitting in our subconscious stifles our ability to be confident about our kinky side. After all, you've been told your entire life that these things are wrong and disturbed and disgusting, even psychotic or pathological. Most people don't question it because it's such a prevalent set of morals that it has been reinforced by nearly every person that they've met in their life. There's also an unfortunate class of (remarkably unintelligent) people who mistake their own personal feelings for an objective moral code. These are the people who would campaign to ban asparagus because they, themselves, don't like the way it tastes and believe no one should have to deal with such unpleasantness. While the intention might not always be malicious, the ignorance is nothing short of devastating to the lives of others.

Now let's look at shame for a moment. Shame is the emotional manifestation of breaching a moral code or other set of expectations one adheres to. Without the feeling that there has been a breach, shame is not possible, and don't forget the inverse is also true: if a person does not feel shame and instead feels pride/confidence regarding an act, one can infer that they do not feel it is a breach. Shame can become apparent through intentional discretion, shyness, regret, or anything regarding a lack of willingness to disclose. Even if a moral code isn't reinforced explicitly through conversation, witnessing people who exhibit these qualities reinforces the perceived validity of one's own moral code and the - purportedly - inherent wrongness of a given act.

What happens when we replace shame with pride is that it challenges this cycle of reinforcement. In addition to an opinion of feeling something is innately wrong, this reinforced set of morals includes a myriad of stigmas, stereotypes, and assumptions; all of which depend on that cycle of reinforcement. When we replace shame with pride in sane and sensible people, it forces these assumptions to be reevaluated. I've said for years that the people who need to come out are specifically the ones afraid to do so, as they have the greatest exposure to people whose values are in dire need of questioning. We unfortunately don't see changes like this happen very often in the media, but look at Rob Portman's recent reversal of his opinion on gay marriage when his son came out. As a minority, homosexuals are charged with constantly challenging people's assumptions - as kinksters, this need is even greater. Without challengers, stigmas will only continue to be perpetuated by the cycle of reinforcement.

So how do we break the spell? We develop a strong enough resolve to not feel ashamed when judged for what we do in bed as consensual adults, and we demand open-mindedness from those who seek to know us. In a sense, we elect to be picky about the company we keep. I can't say I believe in an "eye for an eye" philosophy, and don't mistake this concept for one, but when we refuse to tolerate intolerance it forces people to look inward as to why they feel the way that they do. Any mature or self-aware adult should dismiss opinions and conclusions he can't rationalize, and anyone selfish enough to value their own misguided thoughts and feelings over an objective reality isn't worth anyone's time at all. Until we develop the technology to incorporate others' minds into their deluded brains, we must demand they live in the same world as the rest of us instead of the warped one they've concocted entirely in their heads.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Cop Uniforms

While military uniforms are fairly ionic, most of the images drilled into our head are only regarding the men wearing them. Naturally there are legitimate reasons the appeal goes beyond the style of fabric composing the uniform. When it comes to police uniforms, it's a completely different set of conditioning that evokes a mental response. Instead of the uniform indicating something about the wearer, it not only connotes power transcending the individual but also one that can at times be adversarial. You're not exactly apt to feel nervous if someone in a military uniform is observing you, but anyone who has violated a minor law (burnt out headlight, speeding, etc) and been reprimanded for it is likely to feel somewhat nervous being observed by a cop. It doesn't mean you're going to feel like your play partner is going to arrest you of course, but the image is still there in your head.

For those unfamiliar, the cop in the first two pictures is the one who bought the homeless man boots in NYC. Not that I want to objectify such an amazing man but holy shit is he hot!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Xtube Saturday

Just a boy in chastity mummified and wriggling around. Oh, and .. you know .. screaming in pain later as clothespins are pulled off his balls. Should have added this to my weekend wishlist.

Friday, April 12, 2013

YouTube Feet

Every now and then a really hot video will show up on YouTube for a few weeks before it gets deleted. It's usually not explicit material, of course, but it can be anything from breath control to tickling to gut punching. There's also a lot of videos of barefoot guys showing off their feet since it's not really against their ToS. Stumbled across this one from MyStr8M8sFeet, but there're tons of normal guys instead of companies that put up videos on YouTube.

Weekend Wishlist - Random Bondage

Submitted without comment for once. Can't brain today, I have the horny.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Tattooed Feet

Part of why I like tattoos is that there's still a considerable stigma surrounding them. In addition to liking tattoos in and of themselves, I generally regard people who strongly dislike them as possessing the intellectual prowess of racists or homophobes. One doesn't simply get a full sleeve without being aware of the fact these simpletons exist, and to me going through with it anyway is tantamount to giving the finger to an asinine social stigma.

That being said, it's pretty rare to see guys with tattoos on the tops of their feet. It's, naturally, a really sensitive area so it takes more than a whim for someone to get a tattoo there. In a sense it just makes it that much hotter that the guy was so determinate.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


I have the good fortune of being KinkyDaemon's demo boy during his ropework classes this CLAW. It was a blast last year, and I'm definitely looking forward to it. One of the classes focuses on hogties, so I figured I'd talk about them here as well for any not able to attend the class.

Hogties - with spread-eagle ties as a close second - are pretty much the most common bondage position. They're prevalent enough that it's easy to find videos on YouTube of straight guys ganging up on a friend to forcibly hogtie him. Unfortunately, because it's such a common position, not many people take the time to consider the options when it comes to the position.While it is a pretty simple position, how you tie a boy's wrists and ankles can have a huge impact on how the position affects him, so we'll look at each separately:

Wrists - there are three ways to bind someone's hands for a hogtie: crossed, parallel vertically, and parallel horizontally. Most people immediately think of tying wrists crossed when it comes to a hogtie, which is fine. It's the most versatile of the three because you can either restrain the crossed wrists to the boy's ankles, or use a rope harness to pin them further up his back so he can't use his hands to protect his ass. Alternatively, if you tie him so that his wrists are parallel you can limit his ability to throw his weight around using his shoulders. It's also easier to restrain a guy's arms at the elbows using this method, with some hogtie fanatics making sure the boy's elbows almost (or actually) touch. Finally, you can tie a boy's wrists parallel to each other but perpendicular to his body. This method offers both of the good aspects of the previous two; helps limit movement and leaves the ass exposed. Unfortunately, this can be problematic when tying boys with limited flexibility due to how sharply it boxes the boy's arms, and even in more limber boys it can affect the longevity of the position.

Ankles - there are also three different ways to tie ankles: crossed, parallel, or each tied/strapped to its respective thigh. If you tie a guy's ankles crossed, it limits his ability to bring his knees together. This can be useful if you want him flipped on his side so he can't protect his cock/balls. It can also make it more difficult for him to roll himself over since it broadens his base, and you can also pull his cock down into the opening between his legs when he's on his stomach. Tying his ankles parallel can help make him into a smaller, tighter package, but it's slightly less versatile since the legs have no room to move whatsoever. My personal favorite is having my ankles tied to my thighs. This method is the most versatile of the three, since you can always add more rope to get them like you want, whether it's tying them together afterwards or tying them apart to the sides of the bed. It's also worth noting this variant is best-suited for if you also want to have a boy kneel for more than a moment while he's hogtied.

There're a few miscellaneous things to keep in mind like only flat rope on a boy's chest (knots will press really uncomfortably), finding ways to keep knots away from the boy's hands, or how to do an entire hogtie with a single piece of 50' rope, but if you're paying attention to why you're doing what you're doing they should fall in place just through experimenting. The more you pay attention to how the body moves when restraining a boy, the more you can learn about how to counteract his natural range of motion to more adequately restrain him.

Monday, April 8, 2013


My leather sleepsack is easily one of my favorite pieces of gear. While mummification can actually be pretty newbie-friendly with a little bit of instruction, not only are there very few ways you can screw up putting someone in a sleepsack, a good one is absolutely inescapable no matter how unskilled the top is with bondage. It's a nice transition for guys who think they might have a sadistic side but feel insecure because of their inexperience in bondage. It's somewhat less practical to own one as a Dom since boys come in all different sizes, but if you're a sub who tries to be patient with new Doms like myself it's a really worthwhile piece of gear to add to your collection despite the price. There're some less costly rubber or neoprene ones, but since I'm a huge fighter at times I stuck with leather. For anyone who's less of a fighter, the rubber/neoprene ones definitely open up some fun options like watersports.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Random Hot Guys

As hot as a stone-cut body can be, it starts to get a little old for me. I really like the male form, and that's not dependent on how taut a guy's skin is stretched onto his muscles. That being said, hot is hot; scrawny, a little extra meat, all-around "average" build .. whatever. And I definitely have to say I especially love the look of a farmer's build where a guy bulks and doesn't cut. Yum!