Friday, September 30, 2016

Language Restrictions

One of the kinky endeavors I have scoffed at the longest is noun replacement (SIR/pup/it, etc) or similar language restrictions. I always try to understand any fetish I am exposed to, but this one never clicked until it was kind of thrust upon me. Any time I’d encounter it I’d think “You seriously believe saying a word will magically make me submissive towards you?” and I couldn’t make myself regard it as anything but utterly trite. Part of the problem was it initially seemed to be exclusive to traditional Sir/boy dynamics - the thought of which turned me off to for years. It’s likely this bled into my view of speech-based protocol, and I simply couldn’t see past the negativity I had been subjected to as I began exploring submission. While this feeling eventually diminished as I became more immersed in the culture, it still left me with the impression that this protocol was simply to suit the Sir’s ego and not to benefit both the Sir and boy. I’m happy to admit I was unequivocally wrong.

Speech is a fairly instinctive process for most people - at least as it relates to conversation - and as such the mechanics behind sentence structure are not given much thought. We all have our own dialects and colloquialisms that are deeply ingrained in our psyche, and for the most part we seldom have to focus intently on what we want to say. Since so much of this is rooted in routine, it can be very difficult to be consciously aware of the process of converting our thoughts to words. Try to get a southerner to stop saying “y’all” instinctively or a midwesterner to switch from saying “pop” to “soda” and watch how long they struggle.

Some time ago my Sir threw out the idea of requiring that I refer to myself as ‘pup’ and ‘it’ when speaking to Him. The dynamic had been going really well and, although I had absolutely no interest in it, I agreed to these restrictions on a trial basis because pleasing Him is a priority. Being a long-distance dynamic, punishment for failures was a bit difficult to enforce so I ended up frustrated to the point where it turned into a fairly significant fight and I wanted to stop. As I tried to adapt to the new manner of speaking, I was finding it more difficult to communicate effectively since I couldn’t speak naturally and it would disrupt my thought process. It was ruining my ability to speak eloquently and was whittling away at my ability to be persuasive, so naturally it was infuriating. I was furious over something as simple as changing a few words because, deep down, I think I knew what it was doing to me. Eventually, my ego let go and I adapted to the language change - after all,what right did I have to protest such a simple expectation?

As things progressed, I noticed that the changes to how I would speak to Sir were slowly becoming more significant; the language became simpler, conjunctions and determiners started to disappear, and these restrictions became more compulsive and less labored. By the time I had realized this was happening, it had also yielded simpler thoughts since the language I was being required to use couldn’t possibly suit complicated thoughts. Things like concepts and ideas became less-suited for the discussions, and instead were replaced with compulsions and reactions. What started happening was I began slipping into a headspace I didn’t even know I could access; communication with Sir as my normal, human self was becoming less and less feasible. Eventually I was doing pushups and randomly thought “PUP. WILL. BE. BIG. PUP.” with a rompy thought sneaking out each rep. I was ready to pounce someone .. I didn’t even know I could want to pounce someone. Somehow the speech restrictions had transitioned from just placating Sir to literally changing my internal thoughts independent of His involvement. It sure as hell caught me off-guard, and I thought it was hot that He’d somehow managed to influence my thoughts without needing to lift a finger or even be present.

Most people have heard of the repeated studies that demonstrate “if you smile more often you’ll be happier.” While there are a large amount of variables that may skew the validity of this sentiment (smiling nets better treatment from others, for instance), the foundation is that mental states and thought processes can be built from the ground-up. When you have a solid behavioral foundation that impacts a large number of actions, naturally its influence will steadily branch out. We’re creatures of habit and, given how difficult it is to override our speech patterns, forcing someone to speak a specific way can actually alter their thought process the same way forcing a smile can potentially make you happier. If you remove someone’s ability to express themselves through speech, you can undermine their ability to even have those thoughts while in headspace.

It can take a good bit of familiarity with a sub and a very calculated ramp-up, but if done right it can yield a very strong dynamic. If the goal of speech restriction is dehumanization, simply having someone speak in exactly the same manner with different pronouns may not be enough. Additionally, if someone is particularly embarrassed or irked about the restrictions, they may simply try to structure their sentences to avoid using the words for which replacement is required; “How are you?” might change to “What’s going on today?” rather than “How is Sir?” for instance. Egos are sneaky, and they’re going to try and find ways around protocol if there is some internal motivation to do so.

If you plan on engaging in this sort of play as a Dom, think of it this way: every headspace is almost like a different person. A headspace drastically changes how an individual would respond to a myriad of situations; the same person subbing as a boy will behave very differently if subbing as a pup. As you work on cultivating a headspace in an individual, think about how this should be manifesting in the interaction. How someone says something is a great way to see into their head; anyone who’s ever worked retail understands the difference tone can make. Pup headspace is an easy example since, naturally, a pup should have fairly simple thoughts. If the pup’s manner of speaking isn’t direct and to the point, odds are you could work on deepening their headspace by further restricting their speech in a way that strips their human thoughts away even more so. If his speech is filled with words that give context and flavor and thoughtfulness, rob him of his ability to use such thinky words and sentences. With enough work, you can rip away the eloquent thoughts of a writer and reduce him to a dog that can only turn its mind on its immediate needs. 

pup wants to play now, k?

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Intense Abuse Porn

Someone gave me a link to this vid trying to describe how brutal they were willing to be when it comes to abuse. Needless to say my interest was piqued; this guy's put through tougher paces than I think I could endure. Absolutely love that the tops really are completely unmoved. The guy said that the studio was shut down for the vids being too intense, but I'm definitely still a fan.

My personal favorite part starts around 14 min in. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Dick's Fapository - Dehumanization Edition (Part 2)

The second half of the dehumanization fantasies! These are more based on degradation aside from pain from a more psychological approach.

Clothes are for People:
Kept naked and in chastity through entire scene, ideally with belongings locked away. Either out of punishment or pure sadism end up forced into potentially public setting still naked. Could be having to stand in hallway outside door for several minutes, taken to car naked and getting driven home nude, etc. anything that makes nudity a panic-inducing condition is fair game.

Forced Piss Pig:
Duct tape over eyes, dental gag holding mouth open, either bolted to the floor using pipe fittings or anything with head as thoroughly immobilized. Forced to suck cock and eventually pissed on while unable to even turn head away or close mouth.

Good Puppy:
End up in a public situation with a shock collar on for basic protocol (arms behind back, kneeling next to Dom, etc.). Instead guy ends up using it to force pup posture, barking, and tricks. Handler increasingly raises bar for expectation of behavior, eventually shocking even for things like noticing attentiveness to conversation (dogs can’t eavesdrop). Also shocks for failure to exhibit believable excitement when others give scritches or request tricks, and must be pup to everyone.

Just a Toy:
Over a long-term or weekend scene, a hood is locked on before removing restraints. Once released (or while being released) hands mitted and locked behind back and legs shackled as well as re-applying electro contacts if necessary. Led to cage and aggressively forced in before it is locked. Tape applied around electro contacts and box inputs to prevent any potential for removal. Throat mic is put back on to ensure inability to yell for help or similar unless it is an emergency. Once rested, captor returns with obvious intent to inflict more pain.

No Rest For the Wicked:
Hood is locked on and chain/collar is run to ceiling hook above toilet. Arms remain free but legs are chained of tied to base of toilet. Additionally, thin rope run from balls under seat and secured to base of toilet to prevent standing. Potentially good opportunity for forced enemas, could simply cuff arms behind back or to chain collar to keep out of way.

Proper Foot Bitch:
Naked and in chastity w/ shock collar and pinch collar at a party. Hands cuffed in front (for rubbing feet) and legs shackled with no limits to pain that can be inflicted for disobedience. Not allowed make eye contact or to speak unless being instructed to ask permission to service feet. Needs at least one designated person to trigger remote if eye contact is made or in the event of verbalizing. Any reluctance to either worship or request permission that the collar can’t enforce results in being pinned down by as many guys as necessary with heavy face slapping, gut punching, spanking, etc. or choking to cut off screaming or protesting.

Remote-Controlled Service:
Forced foot worship scene while mitted using shock collar to encourage eager licking. Guy gets good enough to force licking so eagerly it’s hard to keep up, then puts a pinch collar on. Proceeds to use shock collar for forced cock worship and getting fucked instead of foot worship. Eventually likely to protest or try to resist shocks, and pinch collar is there to constrict and induce panic that preoccupies mitts as they uselessly paw at the collar.

Friday, September 23, 2016


Recently I had a discussion where a Dom was describing a scene he felt involved a potentially questionable breach of consent. A boy he was playing with requested he be allowed to suck him off mid-scene, and the Dom was happy to oblige. When the scene had concluded the boy texted him after leaving, indicating that he had never intended to swallow the resulting load. After a bit more prodding, the Dom I was speaking with confirmed that at no point did the boy protest being made to do so. Personally I feel that this Dom did nothing wrong, but when you add new activities within a scene based on either party changing what they want at that time this is always a risk. There are ways to preemptively reduce such a possibility, but it takes an awareness of what changes are apt to occur within a given scene.

My hard limits list is rather extensive and thought through; I have the experience to understand what is and is not something I can accommodate as well as the experience to know what is relevant in most situations. That being said, there are still soft limits that I may place for a specific scene that, in the heat of submission, I may expressly request once things going. For instance, as averse to anal sex as I am there have been scenes where I’ve asked to get fucked once the scene got going. Regardless of experience level sometimes the chemistry is better or the scene hotter than expected, and these limits may cease to be prohibited as things develop.

When starting out in kink, it is the most likely time to find yourself in situations that are unpredictably hot. Everything is fresh and new and you have nothing to use to estimate how you'll feel about an unfamiliar situation. At this point in one’s experience, it is naturally very unlikely to know what potentials exist that could result from a change of heart. This makes discussing limits based these potentials impossible, while potentially causing problems as it did in the scene I was discussing with this Dom. Any Dom has a responsibility to try and steer discussions to touch base on anything he has in mind, even if the activities are not planned as a guaranteed part of the scene.

Here are a few starters that are surprisingly easy to overlook when players are more focused on growing their BDSM side than their sexual side. This could range from a D/s scene primarily around objectification and boot worship to a bondage scene meant to only involve edging.

  • Is oral sex permissible?
    • Giving, receiving, or both?
    • Under what conditions?
  • Is anal penetration permissible?
    • What implements or toys?
    • Anal sex?
      • Penetrative, receptive, or both?
      • With what protection (if any)?
      • Under what conditions?
  • Is fluid exchange permissible?
    • Which fluids?
    • Through what acts (e.g: pissing in mouth but not ass)?
  • Is pain play permissible?
    • To what level of intensity (e.g: only okay if still hard)?
      • Is a safeword necessary?
    • Are marks acceptable?
      • In what location(s)?
    • Are any types of pain or areas of impact off-limits (e.g: no CBT/TT but spanking okay)?
    • What implements or tools are acceptable?
  • Do you have any physical limitations for service or bondage?

The vast majority of people engaging in BDSM will be interested in a level of sexual encounter and/or pain play to some extent, however minimal. As such, these are important things to touch base on as “what if’s, unless already specified as limits. Even assuming interest in these common items is an unfair presumption, so it is important to clarify if you plan on trying to maximize the flexibility of a scene. Anything beyond this list is substantially more individualized and should be specifically addressed prior to trying it in a scene.

It can seem a bit daunting to feel like you need to discuss literally every fetish with a person (there are checklists for this if you want to go that route), but a lot of things will naturally rule themselves out. For instance, if your scene is simply supposed to be having someone tied spread-eagle to your bed, presumably you wouldn’t need to discuss watersports (assuming you want a clean bed), suspension, or public nudity. Keep in mind where your interests in a partner lie and - even if the possibility is miniscule - be sure to isolate and discuss any specific interests that could be feasible to explore, even if they may not be the focus of the scene.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Dick's Fapository - Dehumanization Edition (Part 1)

These scenes aim to remove any consideration someone would normally give an equal. The goal is to very clearly establish that the sub’s enjoyment is immaterial and they are simply a tool to be used for another’s pleasure, amusement, or benefit. While the dynamic outside of the scene (or between scenes) can be very affectionate, these require a great deal of compartmentalization to diminish the sub to where they are nothing. The first half if this set is more oriented towards scenes pertaining to my recent "Dehumanization Through Pain" post.

After any heavy abuse scene, only released partially (to prevent escape) while transitioning to handcuffs behind back and leg irons. Collar/neck locked to eye-bolt in floor by chain so head can’t be picked up more than an inch or two. Potentially pissed on whether exclusively in face or all over, but no matter what left alone for a while without so much as a “You did well, boy.”

Confusion Embodied:
Scene with a Dom who is bilingual. High protocol with all instructions in language that is not understood. Very severe implements used like stun guns and cattle prods, with absolutely no sympathy for failure to understand commands.

Heavy hood locked on along with mitts and soft ankle restraints as well as shock collar. Unrestrained pain play from face-slapping to chest punching to forceful meat-grabbing. Occasional protocol requests regarding body placement (arms behind back, hands behind head, legs spread, etc.), and periodically thrown to ground for trampling. Misbehavior met with ever-increasing intensity like foot on neck or stepping on wrists while chest is slapped. Shock collar reserved exclusively to prevent vocalizing or verbally protesting. Could lead to aggressive hole claiming or could also include multiple Doms.

Sir is Unmoved by Your Plight:
Handcuffed and shackled with chains locked together. Pinch collar around neck and shock collar on balls without chastity so cock is free to be abused. Given instructions to look at boots, feet, or similar fixed point that requires keeping head down. Could also have balls tied with loose rope end so it can be stepped on to force crouch and keep legs spread, or nipple forceps with a chain so can be yanked to floor by nipples instead of neck. Face slapped, cock slapped (ideally with hard implement like thin paddle), and thighs slapped with balls getting shocked any time eyes are not where they are supposed to be. If cannot calm down anger, can be pulled to ground and head or neck stepped on or otherwise held down while shocking balls as much as necessary to get the point across. If anger is still present when face-slapping resumes, thrown back to floor for a repeat.

Think Twice:
Fuck up somehow like trying to escape or getting too stubborn. Chain locked around neck or to collar, dragged upward and aggressively so constant pressure is on neck and almost having to walk on tip-toes. Led under eye-bolt, chain locked taut enough that constant pressure is still on neck even when standing on toes. Arms restrained and pulled either up towards shoulders or away from body. Ass, thighs, balls, chest, or anything reachable ruthlessly beat at least to tears. Could add additional torture methods like throwing a bucket of ice water or spikes under feet, or introducing other implements like stun gun or cattle prod.

Worthless Meat:
Standing predicament bondage position with heavy hood locked on; legs separated by spreader bar, arms behind back tied to ceiling, balls tied to spreader bar to force a deep crouch. Nipple clamps or forceps added, then ass and thighs either heavily paddled, belted, or similarly brutalized as well as heavy CBT. When legs cannot tolerate standing any longer, either fucked or forced to take a dildo/plug.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Dick's Fapository - Nonconsensual Edition

These scenarios are methods of securing someone without them having expressly consented to a scene. As such, it would be unethical to engage in these activities without some form of prior discussion. Personally, so long as someone were 100% certain they would not fail at implementing something below, so long as I was legitimately helpless I couldn’t possibly complain. Additionally, with enough force or adding tools like a shock collar, any one of these could be used to transition into one of the mindfuck or dehumanization scenes.

Mob Justice:
Random social kink environment. Ganged up on by however many guys it takes to subdue, even if using things tactics like stress points. Yelling met with either face slapping, various impact play, or literally forced gagging/hooding. Continually restrained using implements (handcuffs, leash, pinch collar, etc.) or grappling and forced to lick boots, mouth crotches through clothes, or similar service. Could also involve forced removal of clothes (to nudity if possible) and subsequent withholding of belongings pending good behavior. In this case “good behavior” would be restricted to very basic protocol like head down, arms behind back, lick boots when told, etc.

Panicked Transport:
Strapped into a bondage chair or similar rigid but movable setup. Ear plugs and heavy hood added forcibly while thighs, chest, and balls are slapped brutally to reaffirm how secure the setup is. At this point, get transported to another location and any attempts to protest are met with severe ball-beating. Once at new location, hood remains locked on and multiple people are there to subdue.

Set up something with a regular Dom for an “instructions at the door” scene. Instructions include inescapable bondage (tied to chair, chain locked to floor, hooded and cuffed, etc.) and ideally nudity or similar vulnerability. When someone finally enters the room can tell it’s not regular play partner and are unsure who. If instructions are resisted they proceed to forcibly restrain further and beat until followed, whether direct non-sexual service like foot worship or protocol-oriented like avoiding eye contact aversion. The stranger should have instructions that only light pain is acceptable when compliant. If dumb enough to yell for help or similar, gut punched or choked severely, or whatever it takes so yelling is impossible. Could be released with or without usual play partner making an appearance.

Sneak Attack:
Regular Dom works with two of his local friends to convince you to meet new guy. Guy agrees to meet for drinks at his place. Second guy manages to sneak up and get pillowcase or loose hood over head, tightening it around neck. When trying to fight whatever has obstructed view, original person manages to quickly get rope around wrists (feeding bight between arms and chest, making quickly constricting loop for example). Any protest is met with gut punching, headlock, or other silencing means. Once this is done arms are pulled away from neck/face all the way to floor (can step on rope for leverage). Surprise person straddles and forcibly replaces pillowcase with proper hood, locking it on.

The Takedown:
Using an animal control pole, noose, chain, or similar implement to control using neck vulnerability, exploited from behind quickly while distracted. Could either just be forced to obey simple eye contact/speech protocol or forced to lick boots and otherwise service non-sexually. Goal is to simply forcibly be removed from involvement in a social setting and to be unable to assert self back into said setting.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Dehumanization Through Pain Play

Pain play is something I’ve always had a contentious relationship with. One of my earliest experiences with CBT, for instance, was being tied to a St. Andrews cross and feeling nauseous when the Dom hung a boot from my balls (yes, I really started out THAT sensitive). Other types of pain would come up in scenes (clothespins on nipples, spanking, wax, etc.) and it would always either agitate me or cause me to become disinterested. Eventually I started craving progressively heavier bondage, and it necessitated being a little more flexible with what I was willing to endure. Back when mummification was still shiny and new to me I found myself wrapped up by a new Dom, feeling more immobile than I ever had before. At some point he gave my balls a few light taps and, much to my surprise, instead of feeling vexed I felt my cock begin to swell. There was a similar scene a few years later where a Dom straddled my chest while I was mummified and proceeded to lightly slap my face. This eventually made me noticeably angry (not being able to turn my head away was infuriating and degrading) so he stopped, thinking it would ruin the scene. Instead of the lingering anger I’d have expected I felt a sense of disappointment as he backed down and I left his apartment very confused.

Generally when I’m discussing more intense scenes with less experienced Doms, they are just as confused by these contradictions as I initially was. I’ve used my “tattoo analogy" with some degree of success but this only explains the difference between direct and indirect enjoyment, not the motivation. As can be surmised from this blog, my interest in heavier pain play is simply an extension of my interest in helplessness. If I feel I can move too much or otherwise affect the level of pain I am receiving, I fly into a rage; disabuse me of that notion and my dick will swell while my brain panics as coping mechanism after coping mechanism is stripped away.

It took me a long time but, thanks to my interest in some humiliation-oriented things like foot worship, it started to click that what was happening was I began to derive enjoyment from dehumanization. This later manifested in a myriad of ways, but it was there in that very first scene I got hard over pain. I’ve always speculated that my interest in BDSM stemmed from how compressed the dynamics were; that the level of trust and sacrifice involved is unparalleled. In terms of sacrifice, I can think of none greater than giving up your personhood to become another’s blank canvas. Paint it with screams, paint it with embarrassment, paint it with overwhelming and relentless pleasure; make of it what you will, it’s yours.

Whether it’s professionally or personally, I spend most of my time breaking down systems and thoughts into their most basic components and then looking at how they relate. I personally feel this is the best way to make any sort of progress regardless of the endeavor, whether it’s as amorphous as a dynamic or as staunch as crafting policy. If you break it down and distill it thusly, any form of power exchange stems from a mutual agreement to enable the Dom to exude entitlement. This entitlement could be sexual in nature, like a service gimp, or it could be protocol-oriented as it is in many Sir/boy dynamics. It could even be as simple as allowing a sadist domain over your body: it all relates to a subversion of will that allows the dominant partner the right or privilege to enforce certain expectations. When the power dynamic shifts enough that the sub’s obligation supersedes their enjoyment, you have a dynamic that enables a Dom to be entitled.

Naturally different dynamics will have different levels of imbalance, but this foundation is a fairly universal tone. Nearly as universally, being submissive is not easy in any dynamic regardless of context; it requires constant effort to relinquish control that any animal or human will want to retain on an instinctive level. Much of the entitlement that can come from dominance stems from a presumption that a submissive partner is expected to quell this need to retain this naturally coveted control. One of a benchmarks of a Dom who is becoming comfortable with this entitlement is annoyance; the expectations set forth become so solidified that the strain it places on a sub - to some degree - is irrelevant. If you can define expectations clearly enough that you can be annoyed when they are not met, you’re well on your way to fully dehumanizing someone.

As you get into heavier levels of intensity play, it gets more and more difficult to determine what a reasonable sacrifice is. The next progression for me beyond the face-slapping mummification scene was one that involved a shock collar and foot worship. Being a professional dog trainer, I was (and am) very particular that my training tools be used appropriately; random shocking was expressly forbidden when holding the remote. As I began to lick his feet it was one of the first times I had ever willingly engaged in something so degrading. He shocked me despite feeling like I was doing well, and I stood up with alarming speed. When he tried to restrain me, I threatened to scream and alert his vanilla roommates. Five years later I still wish he’d have grabbed me by the neck and thrown me to the ground when I threatened him like that; despite how justified I felt at the time, I backed out of a solid agreement and I feel that is unacceptable for the sub I want to be. He had no way of knowing what a big step that willingness was for me and it was unfair to be upset over something he couldn’t help.

Panic is something that is very prone to arise the more a sub wants to be pushed. It tends to be derived from the realization that all options to prevent something from happening have been exhausted; in that moment the last option I had was to scream deliberately to draw the attention of others. Had the scene continued as I’d described, it’s very likely I would have panicked and become compliant, if only out of self-preservation. The closer someone gets to this level of panic, the less human they become; their brain is so consumed with minimizing risk that defiance is no longer an option. All rationalizing and communication and deliberate action starts to fade away and you’re reduced to an animal acting only on instinct. To me, this is the epitome of dehumanization: you’re not just stripping away someone’s human traits, you’re actually reducing them to a thoughtless animal.

This sort of play has a lot of potential, but it takes an understanding of what a sub seeking this level of intensity is supposed to be, which is nothing. They are not a friend, they are not a partner, they are not a boy, they are simply an inexhaustible outlet for sadism and/or service. Physical safety is still very important, but with the right bondage setup and appropriate level of attentiveness, it should be alarmingly obvious when there is a problem other than the pain you are inflicting. If a Dom can see a boy fighting with every ounce of his strength and be more annoyed with how much he can move instead of being moved by his plight, the sub is going to feel it. When you’re on the receiving end of that, it invalidates any grievance you have with the situation; your suffering demonstrably means less than your captor’s pleasure. What could possibly be more dehumanizing than being pushed to the edge of your sanity, only to have someone be so unmoved by your predicament that they can’t be bothered to hesitate? I can’t think of anything that could drive home where someone’s place is in a dynamic more adequately.

To end this on a lighter note, I want to detail a scene I had that was fairly successful to this end - some if it actually made an appearance in the Shock Collar story. I was in my sleepsack strapped down to a Dom’s bed with my nipples/feet left out and my head tied down; I couldn’t so much as wriggle. He then proceeded to put rubber bands on my feet and tie my toes back to my nipples rather tautly. I was in chastity and this level of restraint had me straining pretty hard. As I mentioned, I really don’t care for pain directly, and every snap of the rubber bands eroded my horniness one step further. That is, until, my nipples started to hurt more than I could take. To alleviate them, I had to flex my toes even further back which meant I was willingly opening my soles to an onslaught of pain. With the added effort, my shins began to ache to the point where I couldn’t force myself to hold my toes back any more. I kept thinking to myself “Just ask him to loosen them,” but knew that he wouldn’t give me any leeway until the time we agreed on was over. As I lay there - calves aching, nipples burning, feeling so helpless I couldn’t even voice a complaint - my cock would swell every time I thought for a second about how fucked I was, and that thought would occur with every worsening ache. By the middle of the scene my cock was so engorged within the chastity he actually had to take it out for fear of circulation issues.

When you’re into things that pertain to indirect enjoyment, your body and mind can betray you. It’s a hell of a journey to get there, but I can’t think of a more substantial - or hotter - level of control than letting someone hijack you that way. If you’re going to play at this level it’s paramount you understand your own thoughts incredibly well, as letting someone that deeply into your head can be confusing. If things go wrong it is vital that you keep the lines of communication open; don’t let trauma or regret prevent you from an open and honest post-scene discussion. It can be hard because you feel like you should have communicated better, but if you shut out discussion that’s just a self-fulfilling prophecy as opposed to a legitimate sentiment. If the scene turns out to be more than you bargained for or doesn’t elicit the feelings you had hoped, talk to them about dialing it back to a scene that’s only about direct enjoyment; letting the experience ruin your dynamic with that person can undermine your ability to trust new Doms. If you begin negotiating scenes like this, keep in mind that if a Dom is unwilling to sacrifice their enjoyment to help you recover after a bad scene, you shouldn’t be sacrificing your enjoyment to sate their sadism.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Short Bastinado Vid

It's a way shorter video than I'd like, but this is after the top had been abusing me for at least an hour. I think immediately before this he'd been snapping the rubber bands for several minutes non-stop, and my head was panicking any time I felt him pull them back. Definitely one of the few times more severe pain has kept me hard; it was very apparent at the time that he could not be dissuaded.

If you've seen the vid of me getting my balls beat, you can see how much pain it takes to get me to make these noises .. and it's bad enough that I'm making them in anticipation. Was a hell of a fun scene.

Short Bastinado Clip powered by XTube

Monday, September 5, 2016

Dick's Fapository - Mindfuck Edition

I spend a lot of time fantasizing. One of my favorite things to do is sculpt scenes that have limited variables to allow Doms the freedom to explore their sadistic side without the burden of doubt. Some of the scenes I came up with while trying to cater to this lack of confidence turned out to be viable as a part of larger scenes with more confident Doms. I figured I would sort and catalog some of them in the event that anyone else might enjoy partaking in them - or subjecting me to them. There are two other "categories" I plan on posting after this, so stay tuned if these pique your interest.

These scenes are intended to challenge how the victim would normally process or respond to stimuli. Whether it’s feeling dread at the onset of pleasure or having to will oneself to quell a deeply ingrained natural response, it should be such a counter-intuitive experience that it is mentally exhausting. As far as intensity goes, these have the most bang for your buck; because of the extra added mental strain, the need for physical intensity is diminished to create the same level of strain.

For those unfamiliar, the throat mic mentioned in some these scenarios is an induction microphone that will only pick up noises from the sub's vocal cords as opposed to ambient noise. The result is that instead of being randomly shocked, the sub feels an overwhelming compulsion to prevent himself from vocalizing. Fantasies after the jump.