Random Artwork

This first picture is pretty much one of my favorite illustrated concepts. I'd posted a while back about one of BullManX's photos that visually demonstrated the difference between a boy and a slave. I love the way this drawing does that too, especially the unrefined bottom seeing what he's going to be turned into. In line with this same concept, I really love the artwork out there that centers around the fantasy of a boy-factory, that breaks willing or unwilling men into boys or sex-slaves. The second image is super-hot to me from a kidnapping and conditioning standpoint, in that it definitely reflects the hopelessness and helplessness of those sorts of fantasies. As for the third image, it's one of the only ways I'd ever consider watersports beyond getting pissed on: completely immobilized and unable to even attempt to move away. At that point, even hulking out wouldn't make one bit of a difference. The fourth and fifth kinda speak for themselves; the one is just a simple but evil predicament bondage position, the other is literally the most clever use of a double-sided gag I've ever seen. 

Detachment

Detachment goes hand-in-hand with stoicism. How are you supposed to remain stoic if you become overly sympathetic? I'm immensely sadistic, and sometimes even I have to take deliberate measures to disregard a boy's plight if I'm taking him especially far. The easiest way for me to process it is to treat it like having a POW - except this person is actually electing to be dehumanized in some manner. If you have a good enough relationship with a boy to push him to that degree, it really can mean actively ignoring sympathy in order to further the dynamic. It takes some work on both parts, but once the boy's headspace is there it can be both incredibly hot and fulfilling.

The Shock Collar (Part 1)

I showed up to his place with my dog shock collar on the underside of my balls, a padlock making it so I couldn't take it off. With the prongs digging in, I also couldn't exactly just pull it off like a cockring. It was going to be a somewhat casual scene, no real intended atmosphere or overtones. He loved having his feet worshiped for really long periods of time, and I knew I usually get bored with it after about 10-15 min or so - maybe 30 if I'm insanely horny. The goal was to have him see how vigoriously I worked my tongue while I was actually into it at the start, and shock me any time my tongue slowed down. He wasn't that used to D/s dynamics so me being free meant if I got super annoyed with it I'd find a way to talk myself out of it, so I brought a sleepsack so I couldn't possibly escape and a hood, well .. just for fun.

The rules were simple: slow down, I get shocked. Stop licking, I get shocked more. Try to talk or protest, the intensity gets turned up a notch and I get shocked until I shut up. At no point was it to ever go down, so it was bound to make me weigh any objection more carefully. Also, it was very clear that the collar was only to be used for these corrections, not random sadism. It conveniently had a "high" and "low" button, so it gave him more wiggle room to correct me.

It started well enough, me stripping down and then getting into the sleepsack and hood, which had a large mouth opening so he could still easily make use of my tongue. I knew he had really hot feet and was already hard by the time I was getting into the sleepsack, and he gave it a few strokes as I started positioning myself. As I was getting in he left the foot zipper undone and kept my feet out which seemed strange given the simple nature of the scene, but I didn't really think anything of it. Once I was secured, he gave me a shock - presumably to test how strong I had set it. I grunted; he was breaking one of the rules a bit, but it was understandable. Then he shocked me again.

"FUCK!" 

I was more than a little pissed at the flagrant disregard for the rules, and already wanting to call it quits. If I weren't in the sleepsack I'd have tried to walk away to find my clothes.

"This is NOT" *zap*

I yelped, loudly. He had fucking followed one rule while breaking another, turning up the juice. I was gritting my teeth and breathing heavily, probably sounding like a bull about to charge. Then I feel his foot in my face. "Fuck that," I'm thinking, and keep my jaw clenched.

*zap*

Jaw still clenched, breathing heavier now and making sure to not give him the satisfaction of a grunt or yelp.

*zzzzzap*

Even holding it for a second or two was painful enough for me to get to licking like a champ. I must've looked almost like a dog lapping at water I was licking so intensely, the adrenaline from the shock causing me to be a bit over-zealous. After a minute or so he pulls his foot away and I hear him walk off. When he returned he clamped a pair of forceps on my nipples. I grimaced a bit since they were a little firmer than I was used to, but not unbearable. That is until he tied my toes together and then attached them to the forceps, pulling as taut as possible. I actually whimpered a little because I really wasn't expecting anything like that from what we'd discussed.

*zap*

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Just reflex, I couldn't help it. I hear the remote click up another notch.

*ZAP*

I start to panic a little because the remote's already higher than I thought it would get even later in the scene. Instinctively, I start trying to struggle my way out of the sleepsack despite it being impossible. Now I can't even bend my legs to inchworm away since it pulls the forceps. Fuck. He puts his foot back in my face and I hesitate due to a mixture of anger and simply being overwhelmed.

*ZAP*

Back to licking like a champ. Fucking asshole. Worse yet his feet are so hot I'm getting hard again and can't stay angry because of it. He keeps me licking for a good 10-15 minutes or so, then decides he'd rather edge me.

"Let me know when you get close; that's the only time you can speak," the first thing he's said since I was hooded.

He'd gotten me horny enough servicing his feet that it didn't take more than 45 seconds or so to get close. I really wanted to get his feet back in my face since I hadn't gotten bored with it yet, and that also drove me getting there so easy.

"I'm ... " *ZAP*

His hand comes off my cock as he shocks me, and I completely lose being close to orgasm. I couldn't even finish saying "I'm close," for god's sake. I'm breathing pretty heavily at this point because I know what this means: basically, me speaking as I get close is like I'm pressing the button myself. He must've repeated this at least two or three dozen times, at which point I'd whimper and almost sob any time he touched my cock, knowing it'll invariably lead to me being shocked. If I could speak I'd be begging profusely .. not even to get off, just for him to not edge me any more and leave my cock alone. 

Eventually, instead of just zapping me he holds down the button and keeps stroking. I couldn't help but scream "NO" several times like a yapping dog, and I felt the charge increase as he continued to hold the button. This was enough to make me incapable of forming words and it changed instead to a guttural howl. 

When the charge subsided, my balls were empty and my body was able to relax. My nipples also got a bit of relief from my knees pulling as I fought. I'd figured he might end up being a bit more vanilla and, despite how intense he'd been so far, had an inkling that this might be the end of the scene. At the very least I sure as fuck didn't have any desire to have his feet back in my face any more .. and then that's exactly what I got. I at least had the good sense to start licking instead of being stubborn, but

*ZAP*

"Not good enough," that's what that jolt said. "I don't give a shit if you think you're done," rang clear with that jolt. I lost track of how many times he ended up shocking me, but it felt like it was about every fucking 5 minutes that I'd lose steam worshiping and get shocked. It was hellish .. this thing that I would normally love being turned against me, morphed into this tedious marathon I hated. And there I was, stuck worshiping his feet with no way to stop or even speak out. Indefinitely. Fuck.

Sadism 101

Everyone has hobbies; some people collect trading cards, some build models, some grow plants .. I, myself, prefer to grow sadistic Doms. Over the last few days I've been fortunate enough to have a random, unexpected in-surge of curious newcomers. When dealing with Dom-curious guys, one of the most common queries presented during scene negotiations comes after we discuss a bondage position that suits their capabilities: "Okay, then what?" Due to the rapid succession, I realized the conversation from there goes pretty similarly  so I figured inexperienced, Dom-aspiring readers - or better yet, anyone looking to take on my hobby - may  find a more general overview to be useful.

So what next?

Whether or not you intend on pursuing a sadistic side, it's important to figure out what gets you physically hard or mentally pleased. When it comes to sadism, the strongest satisfaction usually comes from the recipient's reactions as opposed to your own actions, in that an action obviously does not indicate the recipient's mindset. Without this input, I'd argue it can't even properly be regarded as sadism. The only real way to find what pleases you is to experiment - if you've jerked off to any bondage porn, odds are you have at least a rough idea. Barring a labeled, exhaustive list of every fetish, I can only go over a few activities that are more likely to elicit given reactions. Much of this may seem self-apparent at a glance, but it's logically deconstructing separate reactions and levels of intensity that don't often occur to people naturally. Even if you have some experience as a sadist, if you don't quite feel you've found your  niche it may still be a good exercise.

Disclaimer: the text below assumes a proper scene negotiation has occurred, discussing limits and expectations at length. If a sub has not expressed they wish to explore masochism, they are not the sub to test these ideas on.

The simplest and easiest reaction to pursue is directly pleasing a boy - most notably getting him hard. This can be as common as edging, or as uncommon as a specific fetish/trigger like ball-crushing. It's sometimes a little difficult for non-sadistic tops to play with masochistic bottoms, given that what they directly enjoy is not aligned. If you're uncomfortable administering pain, just gauge how hard the boy is and whether he's getting harder or softer in response to any sort of pain. Bringing this to a sadistic level, just show him  you can give him what he wants to an overwhelming degree and then take it away from him abruptly; in no time  he'll be begging for it - perhaps literally - all without ever actually doing anything unpleasant.

If you've gotten comfortable with that, the easiest way to start moving away from directly pleasing a sub is to make his body want to respond reflexively. Since there's usually not much of a mental component to muscle reflex, it's easier to test the waters without jeopardizing any headspace the boy may be in. Wax, short/fast bursts of cbt, tickling, certain electro not attached to the sub (cattle prod, violet wand, etc) and most  things sharp and sudden are great ways to get a guy's body to fight unintentionally. A blindfold greatly  assists here, so a boy can't brace himself to control his reflexes. Predicament bondage is also a great way  to slowly get a sub to struggle somewhat, given the constant need to readjust - not quite the same as a  sudden jolt, but an unconscious sort of movement. This may sound more advanced, but anyone with some rope and an overhead hook/pipe/eyebolt should be able to work out something safe and simple, like a boy on his back with his wrists elevated by rope tied to his balls.

From here it's easy to progress to something like grunting or instinctual verbal protest. Prolonged nipple play, slow cbt (vices, IcyHot, clothespins, etc), or TENS unit-like electro boxes are great for this. Anything that builds intensity linearly is a prime choice, since you can control intensity in a more  calculated fashion. After a while predicament bondage can also work for this, as he transitions from  naturally readjusting/struggling for sustained comfort to actively needing to choose between pain/discomfort in one place or pain in another. At this point we're still eliciting something rooted mostly in  reflexive responses, but we're starting to bring the boy's head into it.

By this point if you still derive enjoyment from tormenting the boy, you can try pushing him to a state of   willful resistance. Virtually anything is suitable for this, it's just a matter of finding out what a sub is frustrated by or actively dislikes. For instance, while I enjoy some cbt I truly hate having my cockhead slapped; while it's not a limit, it's a quick way to frustrate me since I can't control my body's reaction and my brain thinks and hopes every slap will be the last. This may be a specific act or more likely a level of intensity. Either way, most subs who are subjected to something they dislike or are frustrated by will eventually become obstinate and willful. Anything that causes a sub to attempt to mitigate his reaction is probably a good start, since he doesn't want you to notice how it substantially it affects him. At this point there's no question: the boy's mind is fully engaged in some form of dislike for what is occurring, which is  unquestionably sadistic.

These reactions should be adequate to serve as a means to show you more specifically where you should focus to move forward. Even if you don't directly enjoy a particular reaction, experiencing it can help you sort out what dynamics you might be suited for. If you're not at all interested in directly pleasing a boy, you might not find much use for bondage bottoms who do not engage in D/s dynamics since they will likely expect it. If you don't enjoy making a boy willfully resist but were comfortable taking him there, then you might enjoy a rules-oriented D/s relationship that utilizes corporal punishment. Whatever this initial experimentation teaches you, it should put enough in your toolbox to start building the dynamics that will allow you explore further.

Weekend Scene Contract

Having a contract drafted for weekend submission has a few benefits; first and foremost it makes sure that both parties are on the same page as to the expectations, limitations, and concessions that have been made. In addition to that, having a boy read through the contract before signing it at the start of the weekend can be a huge mindfuck as he's being very blatantly reminded of what he's about to endure. I was under the impression that most contracts (particularly regarding rape) may not be enforceable, but stumbled upon this article on some rather draconian aspects of modern rape prosecution. At any rate, if a scene goes so badly that a sub is seeking prosecution under the law there's probably some serious ineptitude on the Dom's part, but it still never hurts to have some modicum of protection in the event a sub isn't mature enough to accept responsibility for mistakenly requesting what he did.

That being said, I recently went hunting for a contract that would be suitable and stumbled upon one that had some language I really liked. Essentially, rather than just detailing limits and expectations it goes so far as to itemize a number of things that might be prosecuted under law as items for which consent is expressly waived. This particular contract goes far enough to even detail allowing castration or similar mutilation, but the important part of the contract is more the language leading into the itemization. As an added safeguard, it also appoints the Dom as "attorney-in-fact" in the event of a medical emergency where the sub may be incapacitated. It's rather long so I'm including it after the jump, but it should be fairly easy to modify for any scene.

My IML in Photos

So I'd been dealing with some things which resulted in my sex drive being totally shot for a while. IML really helped rejuvenate it a good bit, and finally getting back into the swing of things. That being said, I thought I'd share some photos from my IML this year for anyone who's considered going but found a reason (other than financial, of course) not to. A number of them are already up on Twitter, but I figured I'd condense them here. A lot more went on of course, but I get a little too focused on the action to take a photo. The boy getting tied in the first photo ended up getting off 6 times in just under two hours, and *still* wasn't shooting blanks.

Confidence and Pride

The most important trait a kinkster can strive for is confidence. While a lot of dynamics require other traits (stoicism, for instance), confidence is what makes it all possible. Without confidence you can't express your interests to others to find the experience you need to explore these parts of yourself. Without confidence you're more likely to feel shame than pride or even curiosity. Without confidence you'll wistfully jerk off to porn instead of living your fantasies.

Our current sense of morality somehow never grew out of feudal times, when kings, and priests held all the power in the land. From their thrones they issued edicts under the premise that they knew better than their underlings, and in some instances they genuinely did. It's because of this ideology that our moral code completely ignores the concept of consent; when it was developed, it was believed that the adults of the land could not be trusted to make their own decisions. In a country where 99% of its population can read/write and 80% of its population has access to the internet - and, thus, the wealth of human knowledge - this sort of ideology is complete and utter bullshit.

Having this moral code sitting in our subconscious stifles our ability to be confident about our kinky side. After all, you've been told your entire life that these things are wrong and disturbed and disgusting, even psychotic or pathological. Most people don't question it because it's such a prevalent set of morals that it has been reinforced by nearly every person that they've met in their life. There's also an unfortunate class of (remarkably unintelligent) people who mistake their own personal feelings for an objective moral code. These are the people who would campaign to ban asparagus because they, themselves, don't like the way it tastes and believe no one should have to deal with such unpleasantness. While the intention might not always be malicious, the ignorance is nothing short of devastating to the lives of others.

Now let's look at shame for a moment. Shame is the emotional manifestation of breaching a moral code or other set of expectations one adheres to. Without the feeling that there has been a breach, shame is not possible, and don't forget the inverse is also true: if a person does not feel shame and instead feels pride/confidence regarding an act, one can infer that they do not feel it is a breach. Shame can become apparent through intentional discretion, shyness, regret, or anything regarding a lack of willingness to disclose. Even if a moral code isn't reinforced explicitly through conversation, witnessing people who exhibit these qualities reinforces the perceived validity of one's own moral code and the - purportedly - inherent wrongness of a given act.

What happens when we replace shame with pride is that it challenges this cycle of reinforcement. In addition to an opinion of feeling something is innately wrong, this reinforced set of morals includes a myriad of stigmas, stereotypes, and assumptions; all of which depend on that cycle of reinforcement. When we replace shame with pride in sane and sensible people, it forces these assumptions to be reevaluated. I've said for years that the people who need to come out are specifically the ones afraid to do so, as they have the greatest exposure to people whose values are in dire need of questioning. We unfortunately don't see changes like this happen very often in the media, but look at Rob Portman's recent reversal of his opinion on gay marriage when his son came out. As a minority, homosexuals are charged with constantly challenging people's assumptions - as kinksters, this need is even greater. Without challengers, stigmas will only continue to be perpetuated by the cycle of reinforcement.

So how do we break the spell? We develop a strong enough resolve to not feel ashamed when judged for what we do in bed as consensual adults, and we demand open-mindedness from those who seek to know us. In a sense, we elect to be picky about the company we keep. I can't say I believe in an "eye for an eye" philosophy, and don't mistake this concept for one, but when we refuse to tolerate intolerance it forces people to look inward as to why they feel the way that they do. Any mature or self-aware adult should dismiss opinions and conclusions he can't rationalize, and anyone selfish enough to value their own misguided thoughts and feelings over an objective reality isn't worth anyone's time at all. Until we develop the technology to incorporate others' minds into their deluded brains, we must demand they live in the same world as the rest of us instead of the warped one they've concocted entirely in their heads.

Cop Uniforms

While military uniforms are fairly ionic, most of the images drilled into our head are only regarding the men wearing them. Naturally there are legitimate reasons the appeal goes beyond the style of fabric composing the uniform. When it comes to police uniforms, it's a completely different set of conditioning that evokes a mental response. Instead of the uniform indicating something about the wearer, it not only connotes power transcending the individual but also one that can at times be adversarial. You're not exactly apt to feel nervous if someone in a military uniform is observing you, but anyone who has violated a minor law (burnt out headlight, speeding, etc) and been reprimanded for it is likely to feel somewhat nervous being observed by a cop. It doesn't mean you're going to feel like your play partner is going to arrest you of course, but the image is still there in your head.

For those unfamiliar, the cop in the first two pictures is the one who bought the homeless man boots in NYC. Not that I want to objectify such an amazing man but holy shit is he hot!

Xtube Saturday

Just a boy in chastity mummified and wriggling around. Oh, and .. you know .. screaming in pain later as clothespins are pulled off his balls. Should have added this to my weekend wishlist.

YouTube Feet

Every now and then a really hot video will show up on YouTube for a few weeks before it gets deleted. It's usually not explicit material, of course, but it can be anything from breath control to tickling to gut punching. There's also a lot of videos of barefoot guys showing off their feet since it's not really against their ToS. Stumbled across this one from MyStr8M8sFeet, but there're tons of normal guys instead of companies that put up videos on YouTube.