Pup Play Photos

So naturally pup play's been on the mind a lot lately. I figured if I'm going to yammer on incessantly, the best I could do is share some pictures instead. After this, headed to hypno. O;-)

Language Restrictions

One of the kinky endeavors I have scoffed at the longest is noun replacement (SIR/pup/it, etc) or similar language restrictions. I always try to understand any fetish I am exposed to, but this one never clicked until it was kind of thrust upon me. Any time I’d encounter it I’d think “You seriously believe saying a word will magically make me submissive towards you?” and I couldn’t make myself regard it as anything but utterly trite. Part of the problem was it initially seemed to be exclusive to traditional Sir/boy dynamics - the thought of which turned me off to for years. It’s likely this bled into my view of speech-based protocol, and I simply couldn’t see past the negativity I had been subjected to as I began exploring submission. While this feeling eventually diminished as I became more immersed in the culture, it still left me with the impression that this protocol was simply to suit the Sir’s ego and not to benefit both the Sir and boy. I’m happy to admit I was unequivocally wrong.

Speech is a fairly instinctive process for most people - at least as it relates to conversation - and as such the mechanics behind sentence structure are not given much thought. We all have our own dialects and colloquialisms that are deeply ingrained in our psyche, and for the most part we seldom have to focus intently on what we want to say. Since so much of this is rooted in routine, it can be very difficult to be consciously aware of the process of converting our thoughts to words. Try to get a southerner to stop saying “y’all” instinctively or a midwesterner to switch from saying “pop” to “soda” and watch how long they struggle.

Some time ago my Sir threw out the idea of requiring that I refer to myself as ‘pup’ and ‘it’ when speaking to Him. The dynamic had been going really well and, although I had absolutely no interest in it, I agreed to these restrictions on a trial basis because pleasing Him is a priority. Being a long-distance dynamic, punishment for failures was a bit difficult to enforce so I ended up frustrated to the point where it turned into a fairly significant fight and I wanted to stop. As I tried to adapt to the new manner of speaking, I was finding it more difficult to communicate effectively since I couldn’t speak naturally and it would disrupt my thought process. It was ruining my ability to speak eloquently and was whittling away at my ability to be persuasive, so naturally it was infuriating. I was furious over something as simple as changing a few words because, deep down, I think I knew what it was doing to me. Eventually, my ego let go and I adapted to the language change - after all,what right did I have to protest such a simple expectation?

As things progressed, I noticed that the changes to how I would speak to Sir were slowly becoming more significant; the language became simpler, conjunctions and determiners started to disappear, and these restrictions became more compulsive and less labored. By the time I had realized this was happening, it had also yielded simpler thoughts since the language I was being required to use couldn’t possibly suit complicated thoughts. Things like concepts and ideas became less-suited for the discussions, and instead were replaced with compulsions and reactions. What started happening was I began slipping into a headspace I didn’t even know I could access; communication with Sir as my normal, human self was becoming less and less feasible. Eventually I was doing pushups and randomly thought “PUP. WILL. BE. BIG. PUP.” with a rompy thought sneaking out each rep. I was ready to pounce someone .. I didn’t even know I could want to pounce someone. Somehow the speech restrictions had transitioned from just placating Sir to literally changing my internal thoughts independent of His involvement. It sure as hell caught me off-guard, and I thought it was hot that He’d somehow managed to influence my thoughts without needing to lift a finger or even be present.

Most people have heard of the repeated studies that demonstrate “if you smile more often you’ll be happier.” While there are a large amount of variables that may skew the validity of this sentiment (smiling nets better treatment from others, for instance), the foundation is that mental states and thought processes can be built from the ground-up. When you have a solid behavioral foundation that impacts a large number of actions, naturally its influence will steadily branch out. We’re creatures of habit and, given how difficult it is to override our speech patterns, forcing someone to speak a specific way can actually alter their thought process the same way forcing a smile can potentially make you happier. If you remove someone’s ability to express themselves through speech, you can undermine their ability to even have those thoughts while in headspace.

It can take a good bit of familiarity with a sub and a very calculated ramp-up, but if done right it can yield a very strong dynamic. If the goal of speech restriction is dehumanization, simply having someone speak in exactly the same manner with different pronouns may not be enough. Additionally, if someone is particularly embarrassed or irked about the restrictions, they may simply try to structure their sentences to avoid using the words for which replacement is required; “How are you?” might change to “What’s going on today?” rather than “How is Sir?” for instance. Egos are sneaky, and they’re going to try and find ways around protocol if there is some internal motivation to do so.

If you plan on engaging in this sort of play as a Dom, think of it this way: every headspace is almost like a different person. A headspace drastically changes how an individual would respond to a myriad of situations; the same person subbing as a boy will behave very differently if subbing as a pup. As you work on cultivating a headspace in an individual, think about how this should be manifesting in the interaction. How someone says something is a great way to see into their head; anyone who’s ever worked retail understands the difference tone can make. Pup headspace is an easy example since, naturally, a pup should have fairly simple thoughts. If the pup’s manner of speaking isn’t direct and to the point, odds are you could work on deepening their headspace by further restricting their speech in a way that strips their human thoughts away even more so. If his speech is filled with words that give context and flavor and thoughtfulness, rob him of his ability to use such thinky words and sentences. With enough work, you can rip away the eloquent thoughts of a writer and reduce him to a dog that can only turn its mind on its immediate needs. 

pup wants to play now, k?

Intense Abuse Porn

Someone gave me a link to this vid trying to describe how brutal they were willing to be when it comes to abuse. Needless to say my interest was piqued; this guy's put through tougher paces than I think I could endure. Absolutely love that the tops really are completely unmoved. The guy said that the studio was shut down for the vids being too intense, but I'm definitely still a fan.

My personal favorite part starts around 14 min in. Enjoy.

Short Bastinado Vid

It's a way shorter video than I'd like, but this is after the top had been abusing me for at least an hour. I think immediately before this he'd been snapping the rubber bands for several minutes non-stop, and my head was panicking any time I felt him pull them back. Definitely one of the few times more severe pain has kept me hard; it was very apparent at the time that he could not be dissuaded.

If you've seen the vid of me getting my balls beat, you can see how much pain it takes to get me to make these noises .. and it's bad enough that I'm making them in anticipation. Was a hell of a fun scene.

Short Bastinado Clip powered by XTube

Dick's Fapository - Mindfuck Edition

I spend a lot of time fantasizing. One of my favorite things to do is sculpt scenes that have limited variables to allow Doms the freedom to explore their sadistic side without the burden of doubt. Some of the scenes I came up with while trying to cater to this lack of confidence turned out to be viable as a part of larger scenes with more confident Doms. I figured I would sort and catalog some of them in the event that anyone else might enjoy partaking in them - or subjecting me to them. There are two other "categories" I plan on posting after this, so stay tuned if these pique your interest.

These scenes are intended to challenge how the victim would normally process or respond to stimuli. Whether it’s feeling dread at the onset of pleasure or having to will oneself to quell a deeply ingrained natural response, it should be such a counter-intuitive experience that it is mentally exhausting. As far as intensity goes, these have the most bang for your buck; because of the extra added mental strain, the need for physical intensity is diminished to create the same level of strain.

For those unfamiliar, the throat mic mentioned in some these scenarios is an induction microphone that will only pick up noises from the sub's vocal cords as opposed to ambient noise. The result is that instead of being randomly shocked, the sub feels an overwhelming compulsion to prevent himself from vocalizing. Fantasies after the jump.

Shock Collar and Abuse Scene

This video takes place after about an hour of as intense as what is seen here. The boy has a shock collar on his nuts and was being shocked any time he lost control and grunted or yelled too loudly. What you can't tell from the angle is I still have it in hand and am periodically shocking him in response to certain behaviors. My room at the time was a little cramped so some of my positioning is odd, but I was a little too focused on making him suffer to care. At one point you can see his hand convulsing wildly, and if you understand the process he's been through this is the physical equivalent of a full-throated scream.

Partial Mummification Bastinado/CBT powered by XTube

Down the Rabbit Hole

Pup is on way to New Jersey to be its Sir’s captive pet, and has written this in advance for Sir to post once pup has boarded plane and can’t be online to take down. For whole weekend, pup will only be allowed to speak as a pup on the very rare (if any) occasions it is allowed to speak, and punished if pup tries to talk like full person. Pup never thought something like noun/speech replacement would resonate because pup thought it was silly and almost trite, but Sir has made pup get into headspace even long distance which normally pup can’t do. Pup does not like this and it embarasses pup very lots, but pup likes pleasing Sir even more so too bad for pup! Sir wants eager pup so pup will have to learn to be one.

Pup will not be allowed to be angry or annoyed or embarrassed or self-conscious, only blindly obedient and eager. Thinking about doing things like begging for treats or rolling over for belly rubs or playing fetch makes pup very sad and embarrassed, so pup won’t know how to be eager. Sir has said that he will not accept this and pup will be corrected harshly since Sir wants eager pet not boring, thinky human.

Pups need storage when bad or when Sirs need breaks, so Sir will make pup write offline to describe weekend while stored. If pup does not write, pup gets beat. If pup tries to write as person even to just say “I’m done,” pup gets beat. If pup does anything but writing in a way that shows Sir pup was eagerly waiting for Sir like a real pet would, pup will be beat. Sir has access to pup’s accounts (w/ PW reset control), and will be posting pup’s pupthoughts after storage times are over.

For rest of weekend, any posts should be seen as honest (ly coerced) expressions and recountings. If pup tries to be full self and Sir publishes pup’s post saying “This was a mistake, I never should have agreed to this,” pup means it and pup will be getting abused severely for being too arrogant to just write “pup made mistake. pup wants to go home” instead. Don’t sympathize for pup since it has very simple out: just be good, eager pet, not stubborn!

Whether or not pup has fun throughout weekend, pup hopes anyone reading either enjoys watching pup’s will get crushed or enjoys waggy pupthought posts pup can’t delete that remind it of Sir’s control over pup. Barks!

Respect

I’ve never agreed with the idea that some individuals implicitly deserve an elevated level of respect across the board. We all have different values and their importance to us varies as staunchly as their nature; to expect a person to turn a blind eye to behavior that contradicts their more significant values is neither fair nor reasonable. Since much of kink is based on experience - with most activities demanding it to be competent - there tends to be an unfortunate conflation of being experienced and being more deserving of respect. Everyone deserves respect, and that includes respecting their dissent about an individual’s esteem - at least long enough to assess its validity.

One of the most significant pillars of the BDSM community is an emphasis on players in an active role experiencing what they will subject their passive partners to. Whether it’s a specific implement, method of inducing pain, level of restraint, etc, there is a pretty strong consensus that it is the correct way to handle training a new Dom. The idea is that you shouldn’t do something to a person that you haven’t had done to yourself, both to ensure that you understand logistically what it feels like and to instill a degree of reverence for what is being done. It’s a sentiment that comes from a very well-intentioned place, but it has some side-effects that I take serious issue with. For starters, this ideology is overwhelmingly applied exclusively to physical actions. In this way, leather got it right; you have to be a boy to become a proper Sir, not just experience a series of things being done to you. Not only does this give insight into how specific protocols could impact you mentally, it also shows the work it takes to allow yourself to enter that mentality. Unfortunately, as the fetish community has grown and the leather community has a shrinking piece of that pie, some of the nuanced reasoning behind these things is lost on people who may be less educated about kink. What this does is enables those who only engaged in the physical aspects of submission to hold themselves in the same regard as those who have experienced submission as it relates to dynamics. Needless to say this is a baseless ego boost, and it leads to a sort of entitled Dom that denigrates subs because they can’t understand the strength lifestyle-oriented submission demands. These are the same Doms that are likely to deem the experience of submissives as less valuable to the point of discounting them. While this model creates respect towards submission for those within the community that wish to become a Sir, to those not involved in the culture to the same degree it instead serves to erode the legitimacy of submission by establishing a higher standard for only one half of the dichotomy.

If we look at respect conceptually, it’s primarily based off of things like competency, experience, and accomplishments. This is a nearly universal concept regardless of community, and it’s the lens through which people see respect; when greater respect is given it is presumed that some of these qualifiers have been met and vice versa. What this means is that when someone not associated with the leather community sees this imbalanced level of respect, it is fair for them to presume that being a sub is less demanding and requires less aplomb because the role appears to garner less respect. I want to emphasise again that this is by no means their fault; it’s a fair and logical conclusion based on how respect normally functions. As the BDSM community continues to expand, this disconnect will only grow more and more prevalent due to the influx of new people unaware of how these roles function.

I have a lot of reverence for the level of tradition and protocol the leather community has to offer - and the quality of Sirs it is capable of producing - but I have always had a very averse reaction to anything that tries to dictate my identity. Similarly, I also try to be very respectful of how people identify and make deliberate efforts to never tell someone part of their identity is invalid. Naturally, staunch rules like requiring someone who identifies as dominant to undergo training as a submissive flies in the face of those efforts. Compounding these identity issues with the side-effect it has on how subs are viewed by newcomers, I can’t bring myself to participate in a system that would diminish those who don’t follow a certain path; the proof is in the pudding, not the recipe.

Despite how much I appreciate the sentiment behind leather’s approach to cultivating Doms, I think it is based on an overestimation of how relatable or translatable experiences are. When you over-emphasize the value of how you experienced something, it downplays how unique every person’s experiences are; nothing in your history will help you understand what a boy is feeling as you accidentally dig up a buried childhood memory, or the fear a boy feels as you stumble upon a phobia even he was unaware of. The ability to understand what someone else is going through does not come from having experienced it yourself, but rather respecting that you couldn’t possibly understand it yourself. To put it more productively, the first thing on a Dom’s mind should not be looking to his own experiences, it should be making 100% sure he is being receptive to everything his boy is communicating.

As we consider ensuring the healthy growth of the community and empowering a new wave of both Doms and subs, our focus should instead be on encouraging a universal standard of respect: identity, experiences, preferences, and negotiated consent should all be honored, immutably. When we have a paradigm that enables discrediting one’s experiences based on their methodology, we’ve already torn down one of these pillars and replaced it with an emphasis on esteem. The reason these particular pillars should be immutable is that they relate to an individual’s dynamics with specific individuals, which is no one’s business but those involved. No one should be obligated to bow to a part of someone’s identity that is irrelevant to them, and adults should be mature enough to understand that a person’s dynamics with others does not necessarily impact their own. Two play partners should be able to switch as they see fit without it altering their dynamic and, inversely, a sub locked into an exclusively submissive dynamic should be able to feel the Dom’s control even if someone has him in layers of rope and hoods. Let people hash out their own dynamics and they will continually strengthen them in whatever ways they feel are healthy for those involved

If we can encourage respecting others’ dynamics as described above, we reduce things like kink-shaming and end up creating an environment that is conducive to exploration. It empowers people not only to trust their own experiences, but to feel that they are in control of what happens between them instead of feeling obligated to proceed a certain way. What’s more is it doesn’t preclude people having very rigid dynamics, it simply empowers everyone involved to make their own decisions free of judgment.

Expectation vs. Reality

This ended up being a bit longer than intended, and I want to take a second to clarify that the experience described herein is as close to factual as I could make it. It touches base on some very severe abuse I endured, and I want anyone who feels concern for those events to rest assured they’re presently of no consequence to me. I’ve had a hell of a lot of fun since - some of which was directly a result of what I learned during that weekend - and just wanted to show that it’s possible to come back from scenes that go awry. Moreover, I wanted to discuss how to try and prevent things from going awry.

Everyone has sexual fantasies: some may be incredibly detailed and involved, some may be as simple as wanting to feel a certain way in the moment, and some may be a specific goal or idea we want to incorporate into a larger scene. Most of the time it’s fantasies which drive us to seek a new level of play that helps prevent stagnation and keeps things fresh. They’re a perfectly natural part of sexual development - even when aberrant activities are involved - but there is a very real risk of literally losing yourself in a fantasy. As we focus on details that get us more and more aroused, it becomes easier to forget our thoughts and feelings at the time are also a part of the equation. When this happens you’re very apt to have a rude awakening when you actually find yourself in the fantasy.

One of the most recurring themes of this blog is helplessness. I’ve written stories - both fantasy and real - about it, and I’ve tried to deconstruct and detail how it can be accomplished. My approach to this kind of play has always been that when one agrees to waive the right to revoke consent, one must accept responsibility for misjudging the severity of one’s response to a situation. There will always be times where the Dom may be at fault, but only when ignorance, dishonesty, or incompetence is the cause; if a Dom does precisely as discussed in scene negotiations the end result is not necessarily his fault. It can take a lot to swallow your pride and admit you really shouldn’t have been so adamant about your request, but stubbornly insisting you didn’t make a mistake does absolutely nothing productive. Learn from it: incorporate how you felt at the time into sculpting your fantasies and be more careful when you negotiate your next scene. The main thing here is that refusing to accept responsibility is denying yourself the opportunity to recalibrate and improve future scenes.

For several years now, I’ve sought a loss of control that is as close to absolute as possible - the helplessness that is such a recurrent theme here. Whether it’s needing to know I can still be controlled even if I break headspace or deliberately putting myself in scenarios where resistance is nearly impossible, it all hinges on being unable to change my mind based on circumstance. From seeing first-hand how these changes of opinion can arise mid-scene, I’ve gotten pretty decent at limiting variables in scenes with unfamiliar or inexperienced Doms. Limiting variables results in reducing confusion as to what is an acceptable level of duress as well as helping establish what level of responses can be ignored. I’ve also learned that negotiating scenes is a walk in the park compared to finding someone with the ability and drive to wholly disregard your plight. With this in mind, I decided some time ago I place more value in a scene in which I ask for too much and am given it than one where I feel like I can walk all over the guy, even bound and gagged.

There was a particular scene a few years ago that was exceptionally difficult for me to get over; not because of how much I regretted it in the moment, but rather because it felt like a tremendous failure to communicate (or interpret) the desired “tone” of the scene. Based on my understanding of the discussions we’d had, I thought it was clear that it was supposed to be centered around a level of degradation akin to the treatment of a POW. To be precise, I thought this was mutually agreed upon as opposed to just a request or demand on my part. I’d even recommended some specific fantasies that would be so horrible while happening I knew they’d break me out of headspace and solidify my inability to deter him even in the worst of circumstances. I’d given him plenty of ammunition and he had a rather sizeable playspace in the basement, so it definitely seemed like a weekend of uninterrupted dehumanization was possible.

Prior to arriving at his house I received instructions to enter through the side of his garage. Upon entering I was to strip, hood, and handcuff myself, then wait for him on my knees without my ass touching my feet. My memory is a little hazy of this part, but I remember that the garage was not fully closed off. I couldn’t see any people, but what areas I could see felt like places you would be apt to see people, and where people could easily see me. It made me a little uneasy since I had no idea how long he’d keep me waiting, but I kind of liked that the weekend was starting off with a bit of a mindfuck. I’d read a number of fantasies when I was younger where someone happens upon a helpless boy and proceeds to take the reigns, and the memory made my dick twitch. So for a while I waited there, silent, vulnerable, and nervous, with old fantasies swimming at the back of my mind and swelling at base of my cock.

Eventually he came to grab me, and I was lead into his house. The uneasy fear of walking too fast or missing a step was something I was used to from previous scenes but, after waiting as vulnerably as I had been, every step still drove me deeper and deeper into headspace. He dragged me along to his St Andrew’s cross where he tied me securely enough I was confident things would continue to go well. The cross had never much been my thing, but I felt pretty immobile and contented. After I was secured he explained to me that his boy had moved my car, so even if I somehow managed to get my belongings I’d still be fucked. It made me feel even more helpless, and my dick jumped again.

One of the “shoot myself in the foot” things I had given him was that face-slapping infuriates me. Like, full-on rage within half a dozen light slaps. What happened next was not one of the light or moderate slaps I’d grown accustomed to in rougher scenes, but what felt like being backhanded, full-force. Stars exploded in my hindered vision, and instead of rage a wave of panic washed over me. This wasn’t a “no warmup, start out intense” kind of scene, this was turning out to be a “get a black eye literally within the first 30 seconds of abuse” kind of scene. Apparently he had taken much of what I had said about pain play to heart, and it didn’t stop there. Unfortunately for me I had also mentioned to him that slapping my dick elicits a similar response to face-slapping, and at this point he proceeded to use a harsh enough impliment to do so that my cock and balls were bruised for about a week after the scene. Before this I didn’t even know you could bruise a cock.

I have no idea how long it lasted; I’ve had scenes less than half as intense produce a time dilation effect so significant it caught me off-guard after the fact. What I do know is that at one point I remember sobbing and then screaming for help, literally, and meaning it. But the St Andrews cross held firm and the assault eventually diminished in intensity at some point after I instinctively realized screaming for help was futile. By this point I had fought so hard that my wrist hurt like hell from the struggling against a slightly misplaced rope, and I was pretty sure I had drawn blood. The crying didn’t stop, but now it was because of the issue with my wrist as opposed to the deliberate pain; it wasn’t that the pain was too severe, but rather that I felt so overwhelmingly helpless to correct it.

Had things continued along the same vein of being so dehumanized that screaming at the top of my lungs for help didn’t even phase him, it might have actually been really hot come the end of the scene. Instead I was met with conversation after this barrage, bringing me back into being myself and making me a whole person again. I felt empowered, and it largely undid the impact of what had just transpired. As a continuation of intensity, we had discussed me sleeping restrained, nude, and without a blanket, but with the conversation in between and being re-humanized it was more like being tucked in for the night. By then, the handcuffs and leg irons couldn’t rob me of feeling like myself again and any concern about waking him had dissipated.

Suffice it to say this made for an incredibly long night without a single sexualization of the situation. I hadn’t anticipated he’d have hardwood floors and my belongings were also left a few feet away from me, so things were pretty substantially different than I’d imagined. With freedom within reach, at several points in the night I contemplated using the handcuff key that was surely still in my pocket. If the intensity had been consistent I likely would have been afraid to even try; in that scenario I’d have had no way to predict how intense the punishment would be for such a serious infraction. Eventually I settled for using my clothes as a pillow (something else I should have been afraid to do), and managed to sleep for around an hour or two collectively.

The next morning the sense of normalcy continued and, instead of the desired POW-level degradation, I was treated as a boy and given enough freedom to serve him breakfast. I’m not opposed to that sort of service in a different setting or as a part of a more long-term dynamic, but after the abuse from the night prior it felt very out of place. Even more out of place was alternating from having the freedom to move around only to be “forced” to eat out of a bowl on the floor while still feeling as though I could look up, free to continue our conversation. After breakfast there were a few things that blurred together fairly uneventfully: a flogging scene during which I also broke down and cried, an easy/nice scene in a sleepsack, and some very eager foot worship. Even after being disappointed that I hadn’t been adequately subjugated, I was still elated to get a chance to service his feet. In contrast to the abuse it was more than enough for me to stay hard pretty much the entire time, and almost enough to get me begging for more.

One of the primary features of the weekend was that there was to be no “out;” no safeword, no ending the scene, no breaks. If I got too enraged or collapsed into a sobbing ball of putty, too bad for me: the scene must go on. By this point it was pretty apparent I wasn’t going anywhere despite my malcontent with the tone, and I was getting frustrated. One of the specific countermeasures to tantrums I had suggested centered around how sensitive I am about my neck. I saw a video a long time ago where, as punishment, a boy had a chain padlocked around his neck and was then aggressively led down into a basement by it; you could see him panicking as he realized he couldn’t prevent himself from being taken down. Once downstairs, the end was attached to the ceiling and pulled taut enough to make him stand on his toes, his hands clawing at the chain digging into his throat. As the Dom pulled his hands away to be restrained behind his back you could see him fighting, for real, to keep his fingers under the chain in order to protect his neck. Once his hands were secured his thighs and ass were belted and otherwise beat brutally, and he was too focused on minimizing the pressure on his throat to move even an inch. There is not a single aspect of this I would enjoy in the moment, and constriction on my neck is very likely to cause me to panic - something which seemed appropriate for punishing a particularly grievous slight. Rather than this situation being used for punishment or to exude further control over me, I was simply walked down and strung up as though it were a casual scene. More importantly, this made me feel as though he believed it was something I’d actually enjoy to some extent.

By this point I had reached the maximum level of disappointment that I could force myself to tolerate. Casually approaching the most severe punishment I could think of proved too much to handle, and within less than a minute of abuse I lost it and yelled, “Oh, yippe! You’re going to fucking break me AGAIN!” Apparently the sarcasm and rage rang clear enough to show there was no coming back because immediately after this he ended the onslaught. My hands were instead locked in front of me with a set of allen-wrench irons shaped like an ‘8,’ and the chain was removed. Still blindfolded, he led me into a standing cage and locked me in, heading upstairs without so much as a word. There was no way I was getting out of those irons, there was no way I was getting out of the cage, and there was especially no way I was getting out of his house without him letting me ... and I was done.

While I was unattended I used the time to pull myself as far out of whatever level of headspace was left, and to channel every ounce of willpower I had. Part of this included sitting down in the cage and taking off the blindfold, more or less as an act of defiance. Apparently gathering my will worked because when he walked down the stairs and I looked him in the eye saying “I think we need to call it quits,” he agreed and proceeded to let me out. As I was leaving his house I apologized to him and his boy for how my attitude had soured - truly meaning it - and set off for the road trip home, bruised and battered. I never harbored any resentment for the severity of my treatment, but I was incredibly bitter for quite some time about the purported miscommunications surrounding how the weekend should have been structured.

The important thing to keep in mind here is that the issue with the scene was not the intensity of the abuse, but rather dissatisfaction with how the weekend played out. When there is a conflict between expectation and reality, it can stem from a number of different aspects of a scene. It’s easy to understand that being beat too hard can ruin an experience, but it’s less intuitive to understand that sometimes things we view as an afterthought in fantasies can have a significant impact in practice.

There’s a difference between …

… beating a boy and training a boy,

… humiliation and degradation,

… your play partner making a mistake and regretting your own informed decision,

… service-oriented servility and dehumanization,

… a sub requesting something because they enjoy it and requesting something they dislike because they believe it could benefit the dynamic.

In fantasies, the ways these situations manifest are nearly identical without further context. A boy crying from being beat in an of itself will always be a boy crying; how that relates to the scene or dynamic is a different story. Does he receive less abuse when compliant? Is the purpose for pushing him to increase his pain tolerance? Is the Dom sadistic and expressing control through making the boy miserable? In this single instance, these are at least three different approaches that could drastically change how the sub experiences the same event; this is why in prolonged or weekend scenes observance of these subtle differences can be especially important. When we read or develop our own fantasies, it tends to just be the “highlight reels” of the interaction - the contextual nature of what is happening in the fantasy is not always apparent because what’s happening is hot and we don’t give a shit while we’re stroking. Variables like these different approaches can not only make or break the highlights, but also the times inbetween where things can be, to be frank, dull. What about bathroom breaks? Eating? Stretching? Sleeping? No scene spanning more than a few hours - and even few of that duration - will be free of monotony, but with the right chemistry and dynamic it can be manageable. Knowing how you will react in given situations may help preempt this by enabling conversations about the scene’s momentum, but simply realizing that lulls need to be discussed, pointedly, is half the battle.

Expecting your scene to be perfect or that your weekend will result in you feeling completely helpless 100% of the time can still lead to a lot of disappointment - something I surely still have issues with. While a perfect scene may not be possible, learning to actively identify differences between fantasy and reality is the best way to minimize the impact of this eventuality. The better you understand these distinctions, the more it allows you to guide discussions and make changes to yield a more positive outcome. Above all else, it is paramount to make sure you know yourself and your play partner well enough to ensure you’re both actually a part of your fantasies. Generalities might give you something more fun to fantasize about, but extensive (and often grueling) attention to detail is what will help you live your fantasies.

Weekend Wishlist

Just a few things on the mind. Busy weekend, so we'll see if I get to check any of these off.

Full-Weight Trampling

It's really easy to forget how heavy people are; I'm not commenting on obesity or anything, just how much even an average-weight person actually weighs. The extent to which people commonly feel most of a person's weight on them would be either during sex or in a situation like wrestling. In both these instances, you have most of one body supporting most of another, so it's much more spread out and all your muscles can work to support or resist it. When you have a man standing with his full or near-full weight standing on your chest, you suddenly find yourself with all that weight concentrated in a very small area. What's more is your brain intuitively understands this and knows that fighting with the same fervor when you had your entire body to work with is likely to cause injury, so you almost naturally suppress fighting it. When a good bit of that weight shifts to the other foot which is cutting off your windpipe, you also realize that no matter how hard you grab onto his ankle and try to lift it, from your current position you're not stopping the onslaught.

 Basically, you're fucked.

Xtube Saturday

This video is one of my favorite bastinado videos. The position is interesting in that it'd be kind of awkward to have to hold your legs up like that to keep your balls from being pulled on. Really though I just love the way the Dom doesn't bother trying to say "Shut up, boy," or anything; he just calmly and quietly grabs a gag without giving him the chance to restrain himself. Definitely my kind of Dom.

More Fucking

Well specifically, more expressive or degrading fucks. I wouldn't say I've been feeling exactly vanilla lately, but close enough that I've jerked off to some of these over the last few days instead of some of the more intense stuff that usually gets the job done. My favorite of this bunch is definitely the animated GIF. Woof!

Where You Belong

Cultivating an atmosphere of subjugation in a scene is incredibly important to me. Whether it's using humiliation to drill into a boy's head that he's below you (see my Types of Humiliation post) or ensuring that the playspace is distraction-free and conducive to play, atmosphere is a significant part of the equation. Physical positioning is always an easy, subtle way to do this; a collar chained so a boy can't stand, tying a boy so he's stuck laying on the floor, requiring a boy to kneel with his head down, etc. Being lower will always put you at a physical disadvantage, and when you find a boot on your neck as you try to sit up from the floor the fact you're in an inferior position is pretty strong.

Usually I try not to read into many photos that don't involve bondage, but every now and then there are a few photos which just scream "This is where you belong, boy." Whether or not that was the intent of the photo I can't say, but holy hell I'd love to be where the camera was in any of those photos.

Weekend Wishlist - MAL Edition

I'm at MAL from yesterday through Monday morning. Feel free to say hello if you happen to see me around! If I've got time I might throw up a quick post at some point, but the hope is that I won't even have time for that. I usually do more socializing that playing at events, but I'm aiming to switch that a bit this weekend. I guess we'll see, and hopefully I'll have some photos afterwards as well. I'm sure I've posted a few of these before, but this is just a wishlist after all.

 

Implied Commands

At my old job I used to occasionally hear arguments where a legal argument was technically correct, but that it "went against the spirit of the law." I'm sure there are self defense laws on the books, but take assault and battery alone for example: if battery laws are intended to prevent innocent people from being physically harmed then self defense would violate the law in that you're harming someone, but not the spirit of the law because the person harmed was not "innocent."

It might sound like a leap, but this kind of logic actually applies fairly extensively to more intense D/s dynamics. A sub is always going to have certain things he likes better or would rather be doing, and if he can subtly steer a scene in that direction he's going to do it. It might not always be conscious, but that's still no excuse; a boy needs to learn to identify when he's trying to get what he wants instead of focusing on his Sir's wants. As such, sometimes a sub might be obeying a given command and still doing something to steer the scene that doesn't directly contradict said command.

Consistency is important if you want predicable results when training a boy, but if you really want to fuck with a boy's head you can always randomly alternate between being strict and lenient. It actually takes as much effort on a Dom's part as it does on a sub when dealing with minor infractions; observation and attentiveness are paramount. An infraction can be as simple as a Dom putting the boy's hands behind his back and the boy moving them to scratch his nose, or as notable as the boy moving to suck the Dom's cock before he's given permission.

Simply put, if the scene is about power exchange, both sides should be aware there are implied commands regarding any actions which might allow a sub to undercut the Dom's wishes. I'm sure some folk pick up on the concept naturally, but it doesn't hurt to actively think about it if you're a little worried about feeling like you're being "unfair" when punishing a boy for something small. Just remember; it's not necessarily the act so much as the intent.

Hot Chastity Photos

Someone emailed me the other day asking about the appeal of chastity, and explaining to him why most guys who like it do got me wanting to be locked up again. I love some of the additions people think of to make a guy's predicament even worse when in chastity, but bare minimum it's hot enough as it is the second you hear/feel that lock click.

Subdued

If you couldn't tell by my "Control is Best When Stolen" stories - or really just from their title - the only thing hotter to me than giving up control is having your power taken away from you unexpectedly by someone you want to submit to. Most guys understand that submission requires a sub-related headspace to tolerate certain actions or to elicit a willingness to obey, so when you're caught off-guard and unable to reach that headspace first it puts you in an interesting predicament.

I'm not too experienced with 24/7 dynamics in my personal life, and at times it can be difficult for me to switch into a sub headspace. The "me" that exists normally is way too willful to be submissive which sometimes causes confusion due to the stark contrast. I think the unexpected taking of control can help bridge this gap; you're suddenly faced with a decision to either quickly enter a sub headspace and enjoy what's happening or remain your normal self and hate it. Even if it doesn't just function as a trigger, it's still a good way to bridge the gap from scene to normal life, something paramount for a 24/7 D/s dynamic. With that, here's some photos of guys being man-handled into submission to get you through the weekend.

Geared-Up Doms

Dominance is often centered around an air of masculinity, and gear that aligns with that ideology and image can be great as the icing on the cake. A guy who can give off that kind of energy should be able to have you licking his boots with a glance.