Thursday, January 3, 2013

Implied Commands

At my old job I used to occasionally hear arguments where a legal argument was technically correct, but that it "went against the spirit of the law." I'm sure there are self defense laws on the books, but take assault and battery alone for example: if battery laws are intended to prevent innocent people from being physically harmed then self defense would violate the law in that you're harming someone, but not the spirit of the law because the person harmed was not "innocent."

It might sound like a leap, but this kind of logic actually applies fairly extensively to more intense D/s dynamics. A sub is always going to have certain things he likes better or would rather be doing, and if he can subtly steer a scene in that direction he's going to do it. It might not always be conscious, but that's still no excuse; a boy needs to learn to identify when he's trying to get what he wants instead of focusing on his Sir's wants. As such, sometimes a sub might be obeying a given command and still doing something to steer the scene that doesn't directly contradict said command.

Consistency is important if you want predicable results when training a boy, but if you really want to fuck with a boy's head you can always randomly alternate between being strict and lenient. It actually takes as much effort on a Dom's part as it does on a sub when dealing with minor infractions; observation and attentiveness are paramount. An infraction can be as simple as a Dom putting the boy's hands behind his back and the boy moving them to scratch his nose, or as notable as the boy moving to suck the Dom's cock before he's given permission.

Simply put, if the scene is about power exchange, both sides should be aware there are implied commands regarding any actions which might allow a sub to undercut the Dom's wishes. I'm sure some folk pick up on the concept naturally, but it doesn't hurt to actively think about it if you're a little worried about feeling like you're being "unfair" when punishing a boy for something small. Just remember; it's not necessarily the act so much as the intent.

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