Intense Abuse Porn

Someone gave me a link to this vid trying to describe how brutal they were willing to be when it comes to abuse. Needless to say my interest was piqued; this guy's put through tougher paces than I think I could endure. Absolutely love that the tops really are completely unmoved. The guy said that the studio was shut down for the vids being too intense, but I'm definitely still a fan.

My personal favorite part starts around 14 min in. Enjoy.

Dick's Fapository - Dehumanization Edition (Part 2)

The second half of the dehumanization fantasies! These are more based on degradation aside from pain from a more psychological approach.

Clothes are for People:
Kept naked and in chastity through entire scene, ideally with belongings locked away. Either out of punishment or pure sadism end up forced into potentially public setting still naked. Could be having to stand in hallway outside door for several minutes, taken to car naked and getting driven home nude, etc. anything that makes nudity a panic-inducing condition is fair game.

Forced Piss Pig:
Duct tape over eyes, dental gag holding mouth open, either bolted to the floor using pipe fittings or anything with head as thoroughly immobilized. Forced to suck cock and eventually pissed on while unable to even turn head away or close mouth.

Good Puppy:
End up in a public situation with a shock collar on for basic protocol (arms behind back, kneeling next to Dom, etc.). Instead guy ends up using it to force pup posture, barking, and tricks. Handler increasingly raises bar for expectation of behavior, eventually shocking even for things like noticing attentiveness to conversation (dogs can’t eavesdrop). Also shocks for failure to exhibit believable excitement when others give scritches or request tricks, and must be pup to everyone.

Just a Toy:
Over a long-term or weekend scene, a hood is locked on before removing restraints. Once released (or while being released) hands mitted and locked behind back and legs shackled as well as re-applying electro contacts if necessary. Led to cage and aggressively forced in before it is locked. Tape applied around electro contacts and box inputs to prevent any potential for removal. Throat mic is put back on to ensure inability to yell for help or similar unless it is an emergency. Once rested, captor returns with obvious intent to inflict more pain.

No Rest For the Wicked:
Hood is locked on and chain/collar is run to ceiling hook above toilet. Arms remain free but legs are chained of tied to base of toilet. Additionally, thin rope run from balls under seat and secured to base of toilet to prevent standing. Potentially good opportunity for forced enemas, could simply cuff arms behind back or to chain collar to keep out of way.

Proper Foot Bitch:
Naked and in chastity w/ shock collar and pinch collar at a party. Hands cuffed in front (for rubbing feet) and legs shackled with no limits to pain that can be inflicted for disobedience. Not allowed make eye contact or to speak unless being instructed to ask permission to service feet. Needs at least one designated person to trigger remote if eye contact is made or in the event of verbalizing. Any reluctance to either worship or request permission that the collar can’t enforce results in being pinned down by as many guys as necessary with heavy face slapping, gut punching, spanking, etc. or choking to cut off screaming or protesting.

Remote-Controlled Service:
Forced foot worship scene while mitted using shock collar to encourage eager licking. Guy gets good enough to force licking so eagerly it’s hard to keep up, then puts a pinch collar on. Proceeds to use shock collar for forced cock worship and getting fucked instead of foot worship. Eventually likely to protest or try to resist shocks, and pinch collar is there to constrict and induce panic that preoccupies mitts as they uselessly paw at the collar.

Dick's Fapository - Dehumanization Edition (Part 1)

These scenes aim to remove any consideration someone would normally give an equal. The goal is to very clearly establish that the sub’s enjoyment is immaterial and they are simply a tool to be used for another’s pleasure, amusement, or benefit. While the dynamic outside of the scene (or between scenes) can be very affectionate, these require a great deal of compartmentalization to diminish the sub to where they are nothing. The first half if this set is more oriented towards scenes pertaining to my recent "Dehumanization Through Pain" post.

Anti-Aftercare:

After any heavy abuse scene, only released partially (to prevent escape) while transitioning to handcuffs behind back and leg irons. Collar/neck locked to eye-bolt in floor by chain so head can’t be picked up more than an inch or two. Potentially pissed on whether exclusively in face or all over, but no matter what left alone for a while without so much as a “You did well, boy.”

Confusion Embodied:

Scene with a Dom who is bilingual. High protocol with all instructions in language that is not understood. Very severe implements used like stun guns and cattle prods, with absolutely no sympathy for failure to understand commands.

Manhandling:

Heavy hood locked on along with mitts and soft ankle restraints as well as shock collar. Unrestrained pain play from face-slapping to chest punching to forceful meat-grabbing. Occasional protocol requests regarding body placement (arms behind back, hands behind head, legs spread, etc.), and periodically thrown to ground for trampling. Misbehavior met with ever-increasing intensity like foot on neck or stepping on wrists while chest is slapped. Shock collar reserved exclusively to prevent vocalizing or verbally protesting. Could lead to aggressive hole claiming or could also include multiple Doms.

Sir is Unmoved by Your Plight:

Handcuffed and shackled with chains locked together. Pinch collar around neck and shock collar on balls without chastity so cock is free to be abused. Given instructions to look at boots, feet, or similar fixed point that requires keeping head down. Could also have balls tied with loose rope end so it can be stepped on to force crouch and keep legs spread, or nipple forceps with a chain so can be yanked to floor by nipples instead of neck. Face slapped, cock slapped (ideally with hard implement like thin paddle), and thighs slapped with balls getting shocked any time eyes are not where they are supposed to be. If cannot calm down anger, can be pulled to ground and head or neck stepped on or otherwise held down while shocking balls as much as necessary to get the point across. If anger is still present when face-slapping resumes, thrown back to floor for a repeat.

Think Twice:

Fuck up somehow like trying to escape or getting too stubborn. Chain locked around neck or to collar, dragged upward and aggressively so constant pressure is on neck and almost having to walk on tip-toes. Led under eye-bolt, chain locked taut enough that constant pressure is still on neck even when standing on toes. Arms restrained and pulled either up towards shoulders or away from body. Ass, thighs, balls, chest, or anything reachable ruthlessly beat at least to tears. Could add additional torture methods like throwing a bucket of ice water or spikes under feet, or introducing other implements like stun gun or cattle prod.

Worthless Meat:

Standing predicament bondage position with heavy hood locked on; legs separated by spreader bar, arms behind back tied to ceiling, balls tied to spreader bar to force a deep crouch. Nipple clamps or forceps added, then ass and thighs either heavily paddled, belted, or similarly brutalized as well as heavy CBT. When legs cannot tolerate standing any longer, either fucked or forced to take a dildo/plug.

Dick's Fapository - Nonconsensual Edition

These scenarios are methods of securing someone without them having expressly consented to a scene. As such, it would be unethical to engage in these activities without some form of prior discussion. Personally, so long as someone were 100% certain they would not fail at implementing something below, so long as I was legitimately helpless I couldn’t possibly complain. Additionally, with enough force or adding tools like a shock collar, any one of these could be used to transition into one of the mindfuck or dehumanization scenes.

Mob Justice:

Random social kink environment. Ganged up on by however many guys it takes to subdue, even if using things tactics like stress points. Yelling met with either face slapping, various impact play, or literally forced gagging/hooding. Continually restrained using implements (handcuffs, leash, pinch collar, etc.) or grappling and forced to lick boots, mouth crotches through clothes, or similar service. Could also involve forced removal of clothes (to nudity if possible) and subsequent withholding of belongings pending good behavior. In this case “good behavior” would be restricted to very basic protocol like head down, arms behind back, lick boots when told, etc.

Panicked Transport:

Strapped into a bondage chair or similar rigid but movable setup. Ear plugs and heavy hood added forcibly while thighs, chest, and balls are slapped brutally to reaffirm how secure the setup is. At this point, get transported to another location and any attempts to protest are met with severe ball-beating. Once at new location, hood remains locked on and multiple people are there to subdue.

Pseudo-Kidnapping:

Set up something with a regular Dom for an “instructions at the door” scene. Instructions include inescapable bondage (tied to chair, chain locked to floor, hooded and cuffed, etc.) and ideally nudity or similar vulnerability. When someone finally enters the room can tell it’s not regular play partner and are unsure who. If instructions are resisted they proceed to forcibly restrain further and beat until followed, whether direct non-sexual service like foot worship or protocol-oriented like avoiding eye contact aversion. The stranger should have instructions that only light pain is acceptable when compliant. If dumb enough to yell for help or similar, gut punched or choked severely, or whatever it takes so yelling is impossible. Could be released with or without usual play partner making an appearance.

Sneak Attack:

Regular Dom works with two of his local friends to convince you to meet new guy. Guy agrees to meet for drinks at his place. Second guy manages to sneak up and get pillowcase or loose hood over head, tightening it around neck. When trying to fight whatever has obstructed view, original person manages to quickly get rope around wrists (feeding bight between arms and chest, making quickly constricting loop for example). Any protest is met with gut punching, headlock, or other silencing means. Once this is done arms are pulled away from neck/face all the way to floor (can step on rope for leverage). Surprise person straddles and forcibly replaces pillowcase with proper hood, locking it on.

The Takedown:

Using an animal control pole, noose, chain, or similar implement to control using neck vulnerability, exploited from behind quickly while distracted. Could either just be forced to obey simple eye contact/speech protocol or forced to lick boots and otherwise service non-sexually. Goal is to simply forcibly be removed from involvement in a social setting and to be unable to assert self back into said setting.

Dehumanization Through Pain Play

Pain play is something I’ve always had a contentious relationship with. One of my earliest experiences with CBT, for instance, was being tied to a St. Andrews cross and feeling nauseous when the Dom hung a boot from my balls (yes, I really started out THAT sensitive). Other types of pain would come up in scenes (clothespins on nipples, spanking, wax, etc.) and it would always either agitate me or cause me to become disinterested. Eventually I started craving progressively heavier bondage, and it necessitated being a little more flexible with what I was willing to endure. Back when mummification was still shiny and new to me I found myself wrapped up by a new Dom, feeling more immobile than I ever had before. At some point he gave my balls a few light taps and, much to my surprise, instead of feeling vexed I felt my cock begin to swell. There was a similar scene a few years later where a Dom straddled my chest while I was mummified and proceeded to lightly slap my face. This eventually made me noticeably angry (not being able to turn my head away was infuriating and degrading) so he stopped, thinking it would ruin the scene. Instead of the lingering anger I’d have expected I felt a sense of disappointment as he backed down and I left his apartment very confused.

Generally when I’m discussing more intense scenes with less experienced Doms, they are just as confused by these contradictions as I initially was. I’ve used my “tattoo analogy" with some degree of success but this only explains the difference between direct and indirect enjoyment, not the motivation. As can be surmised from this blog, my interest in heavier pain play is simply an extension of my interest in helplessness. If I feel I can move too much or otherwise affect the level of pain I am receiving, I fly into a rage; disabuse me of that notion and my dick will swell while my brain panics as coping mechanism after coping mechanism is stripped away.

It took me a long time but, thanks to my interest in some humiliation-oriented things like foot worship, it started to click that what was happening was I began to derive enjoyment from dehumanization. This later manifested in a myriad of ways, but it was there in that very first scene I got hard over pain. I’ve always speculated that my interest in BDSM stemmed from how compressed the dynamics were; that the level of trust and sacrifice involved is unparalleled. In terms of sacrifice, I can think of none greater than giving up your personhood to become another’s blank canvas. Paint it with screams, paint it with embarrassment, paint it with overwhelming and relentless pleasure; make of it what you will, it’s yours.

Whether it’s professionally or personally, I spend most of my time breaking down systems and thoughts into their most basic components and then looking at how they relate. I personally feel this is the best way to make any sort of progress regardless of the endeavor, whether it’s as amorphous as a dynamic or as staunch as crafting policy. If you break it down and distill it thusly, any form of power exchange stems from a mutual agreement to enable the Dom to exude entitlement. This entitlement could be sexual in nature, like a service gimp, or it could be protocol-oriented as it is in many Sir/boy dynamics. It could even be as simple as allowing a sadist domain over your body: it all relates to a subversion of will that allows the dominant partner the right or privilege to enforce certain expectations. When the power dynamic shifts enough that the sub’s obligation supersedes their enjoyment, you have a dynamic that enables a Dom to be entitled.

Naturally different dynamics will have different levels of imbalance, but this foundation is a fairly universal tone. Nearly as universally, being submissive is not easy in any dynamic regardless of context; it requires constant effort to relinquish control that any animal or human will want to retain on an instinctive level. Much of the entitlement that can come from dominance stems from a presumption that a submissive partner is expected to quell this need to retain this naturally coveted control. One of a benchmarks of a Dom who is becoming comfortable with this entitlement is annoyance; the expectations set forth become so solidified that the strain it places on a sub - to some degree - is irrelevant. If you can define expectations clearly enough that you can be annoyed when they are not met, you’re well on your way to fully dehumanizing someone.

As you get into heavier levels of intensity play, it gets more and more difficult to determine what a reasonable sacrifice is. The next progression for me beyond the face-slapping mummification scene was one that involved a shock collar and foot worship. Being a professional dog trainer, I was (and am) very particular that my training tools be used appropriately; random shocking was expressly forbidden when holding the remote. As I began to lick his feet it was one of the first times I had ever willingly engaged in something so degrading. He shocked me despite feeling like I was doing well, and I stood up with alarming speed. When he tried to restrain me, I threatened to scream and alert his vanilla roommates. Five years later I still wish he’d have grabbed me by the neck and thrown me to the ground when I threatened him like that; despite how justified I felt at the time, I backed out of a solid agreement and I feel that is unacceptable for the sub I want to be. He had no way of knowing what a big step that willingness was for me and it was unfair to be upset over something he couldn’t help.

Panic is something that is very prone to arise the more a sub wants to be pushed. It tends to be derived from the realization that all options to prevent something from happening have been exhausted; in that moment the last option I had was to scream deliberately to draw the attention of others. Had the scene continued as I’d described, it’s very likely I would have panicked and become compliant, if only out of self-preservation. The closer someone gets to this level of panic, the less human they become; their brain is so consumed with minimizing risk that defiance is no longer an option. All rationalizing and communication and deliberate action starts to fade away and you’re reduced to an animal acting only on instinct. To me, this is the epitome of dehumanization: you’re not just stripping away someone’s human traits, you’re actually reducing them to a thoughtless animal.

This sort of play has a lot of potential, but it takes an understanding of what a sub seeking this level of intensity is supposed to be, which is nothing. They are not a friend, they are not a partner, they are not a boy, they are simply an inexhaustible outlet for sadism and/or service. Physical safety is still very important, but with the right bondage setup and appropriate level of attentiveness, it should be alarmingly obvious when there is a problem other than the pain you are inflicting. If a Dom can see a boy fighting with every ounce of his strength and be more annoyed with how much he can move instead of being moved by his plight, the sub is going to feel it. When you’re on the receiving end of that, it invalidates any grievance you have with the situation; your suffering demonstrably means less than your captor’s pleasure. What could possibly be more dehumanizing than being pushed to the edge of your sanity, only to have someone be so unmoved by your predicament that they can’t be bothered to hesitate? I can’t think of anything that could drive home where someone’s place is in a dynamic more adequately.

To end this on a lighter note, I want to detail a scene I had that was fairly successful to this end - some if it actually made an appearance in the Shock Collar story. I was in my sleepsack strapped down to a Dom’s bed with my nipples/feet left out and my head tied down; I couldn’t so much as wriggle. He then proceeded to put rubber bands on my feet and tie my toes back to my nipples rather tautly. I was in chastity and this level of restraint had me straining pretty hard. As I mentioned, I really don’t care for pain directly, and every snap of the rubber bands eroded my horniness one step further. That is, until, my nipples started to hurt more than I could take. To alleviate them, I had to flex my toes even further back which meant I was willingly opening my soles to an onslaught of pain. With the added effort, my shins began to ache to the point where I couldn’t force myself to hold my toes back any more. I kept thinking to myself “Just ask him to loosen them,” but knew that he wouldn’t give me any leeway until the time we agreed on was over. As I lay there - calves aching, nipples burning, feeling so helpless I couldn’t even voice a complaint - my cock would swell every time I thought for a second about how fucked I was, and that thought would occur with every worsening ache. By the middle of the scene my cock was so engorged within the chastity he actually had to take it out for fear of circulation issues.

When you’re into things that pertain to indirect enjoyment, your body and mind can betray you. It’s a hell of a journey to get there, but I can’t think of a more substantial - or hotter - level of control than letting someone hijack you that way. If you’re going to play at this level it’s paramount you understand your own thoughts incredibly well, as letting someone that deeply into your head can be confusing. If things go wrong it is vital that you keep the lines of communication open; don’t let trauma or regret prevent you from an open and honest post-scene discussion. It can be hard because you feel like you should have communicated better, but if you shut out discussion that’s just a self-fulfilling prophecy as opposed to a legitimate sentiment. If the scene turns out to be more than you bargained for or doesn’t elicit the feelings you had hoped, talk to them about dialing it back to a scene that’s only about direct enjoyment; letting the experience ruin your dynamic with that person can undermine your ability to trust new Doms. If you begin negotiating scenes like this, keep in mind that if a Dom is unwilling to sacrifice their enjoyment to help you recover after a bad scene, you shouldn’t be sacrificing your enjoyment to sate their sadism.

Short Bastinado Vid

It's a way shorter video than I'd like, but this is after the top had been abusing me for at least an hour. I think immediately before this he'd been snapping the rubber bands for several minutes non-stop, and my head was panicking any time I felt him pull them back. Definitely one of the few times more severe pain has kept me hard; it was very apparent at the time that he could not be dissuaded.

If you've seen the vid of me getting my balls beat, you can see how much pain it takes to get me to make these noises .. and it's bad enough that I'm making them in anticipation. Was a hell of a fun scene.

Short Bastinado Clip powered by XTube

Dick's Fapository - Mindfuck Edition

I spend a lot of time fantasizing. One of my favorite things to do is sculpt scenes that have limited variables to allow Doms the freedom to explore their sadistic side without the burden of doubt. Some of the scenes I came up with while trying to cater to this lack of confidence turned out to be viable as a part of larger scenes with more confident Doms. I figured I would sort and catalog some of them in the event that anyone else might enjoy partaking in them - or subjecting me to them. There are two other "categories" I plan on posting after this, so stay tuned if these pique your interest.

These scenes are intended to challenge how the victim would normally process or respond to stimuli. Whether it’s feeling dread at the onset of pleasure or having to will oneself to quell a deeply ingrained natural response, it should be such a counter-intuitive experience that it is mentally exhausting. As far as intensity goes, these have the most bang for your buck; because of the extra added mental strain, the need for physical intensity is diminished to create the same level of strain.

For those unfamiliar, the throat mic mentioned in some these scenarios is an induction microphone that will only pick up noises from the sub's vocal cords as opposed to ambient noise. The result is that instead of being randomly shocked, the sub feels an overwhelming compulsion to prevent himself from vocalizing. Fantasies after the jump.

Shock Collar and Abuse Scene

This video takes place after about an hour of as intense as what is seen here. The boy has a shock collar on his nuts and was being shocked any time he lost control and grunted or yelled too loudly. What you can't tell from the angle is I still have it in hand and am periodically shocking him in response to certain behaviors. My room at the time was a little cramped so some of my positioning is odd, but I was a little too focused on making him suffer to care. At one point you can see his hand convulsing wildly, and if you understand the process he's been through this is the physical equivalent of a full-throated scream.

Partial Mummification Bastinado/CBT powered by XTube

Down the Rabbit Hole

Pup is on way to New Jersey to be its Sir’s captive pet, and has written this in advance for Sir to post once pup has boarded plane and can’t be online to take down. For whole weekend, pup will only be allowed to speak as a pup on the very rare (if any) occasions it is allowed to speak, and punished if pup tries to talk like full person. Pup never thought something like noun/speech replacement would resonate because pup thought it was silly and almost trite, but Sir has made pup get into headspace even long distance which normally pup can’t do. Pup does not like this and it embarasses pup very lots, but pup likes pleasing Sir even more so too bad for pup! Sir wants eager pup so pup will have to learn to be one.

Pup will not be allowed to be angry or annoyed or embarrassed or self-conscious, only blindly obedient and eager. Thinking about doing things like begging for treats or rolling over for belly rubs or playing fetch makes pup very sad and embarrassed, so pup won’t know how to be eager. Sir has said that he will not accept this and pup will be corrected harshly since Sir wants eager pet not boring, thinky human.

Pups need storage when bad or when Sirs need breaks, so Sir will make pup write offline to describe weekend while stored. If pup does not write, pup gets beat. If pup tries to write as person even to just say “I’m done,” pup gets beat. If pup does anything but writing in a way that shows Sir pup was eagerly waiting for Sir like a real pet would, pup will be beat. Sir has access to pup’s accounts (w/ PW reset control), and will be posting pup’s pupthoughts after storage times are over.

For rest of weekend, any posts should be seen as honest (ly coerced) expressions and recountings. If pup tries to be full self and Sir publishes pup’s post saying “This was a mistake, I never should have agreed to this,” pup means it and pup will be getting abused severely for being too arrogant to just write “pup made mistake. pup wants to go home” instead. Don’t sympathize for pup since it has very simple out: just be good, eager pet, not stubborn!

Whether or not pup has fun throughout weekend, pup hopes anyone reading either enjoys watching pup’s will get crushed or enjoys waggy pupthought posts pup can’t delete that remind it of Sir’s control over pup. Barks!

Respect

I’ve never agreed with the idea that some individuals implicitly deserve an elevated level of respect across the board. We all have different values and their importance to us varies as staunchly as their nature; to expect a person to turn a blind eye to behavior that contradicts their more significant values is neither fair nor reasonable. Since much of kink is based on experience - with most activities demanding it to be competent - there tends to be an unfortunate conflation of being experienced and being more deserving of respect. Everyone deserves respect, and that includes respecting their dissent about an individual’s esteem - at least long enough to assess its validity.

One of the most significant pillars of the BDSM community is an emphasis on players in an active role experiencing what they will subject their passive partners to. Whether it’s a specific implement, method of inducing pain, level of restraint, etc, there is a pretty strong consensus that it is the correct way to handle training a new Dom. The idea is that you shouldn’t do something to a person that you haven’t had done to yourself, both to ensure that you understand logistically what it feels like and to instill a degree of reverence for what is being done. It’s a sentiment that comes from a very well-intentioned place, but it has some side-effects that I take serious issue with. For starters, this ideology is overwhelmingly applied exclusively to physical actions. In this way, leather got it right; you have to be a boy to become a proper Sir, not just experience a series of things being done to you. Not only does this give insight into how specific protocols could impact you mentally, it also shows the work it takes to allow yourself to enter that mentality. Unfortunately, as the fetish community has grown and the leather community has a shrinking piece of that pie, some of the nuanced reasoning behind these things is lost on people who may be less educated about kink. What this does is enables those who only engaged in the physical aspects of submission to hold themselves in the same regard as those who have experienced submission as it relates to dynamics. Needless to say this is a baseless ego boost, and it leads to a sort of entitled Dom that denigrates subs because they can’t understand the strength lifestyle-oriented submission demands. These are the same Doms that are likely to deem the experience of submissives as less valuable to the point of discounting them. While this model creates respect towards submission for those within the community that wish to become a Sir, to those not involved in the culture to the same degree it instead serves to erode the legitimacy of submission by establishing a higher standard for only one half of the dichotomy.

If we look at respect conceptually, it’s primarily based off of things like competency, experience, and accomplishments. This is a nearly universal concept regardless of community, and it’s the lens through which people see respect; when greater respect is given it is presumed that some of these qualifiers have been met and vice versa. What this means is that when someone not associated with the leather community sees this imbalanced level of respect, it is fair for them to presume that being a sub is less demanding and requires less aplomb because the role appears to garner less respect. I want to emphasise again that this is by no means their fault; it’s a fair and logical conclusion based on how respect normally functions. As the BDSM community continues to expand, this disconnect will only grow more and more prevalent due to the influx of new people unaware of how these roles function.

I have a lot of reverence for the level of tradition and protocol the leather community has to offer - and the quality of Sirs it is capable of producing - but I have always had a very averse reaction to anything that tries to dictate my identity. Similarly, I also try to be very respectful of how people identify and make deliberate efforts to never tell someone part of their identity is invalid. Naturally, staunch rules like requiring someone who identifies as dominant to undergo training as a submissive flies in the face of those efforts. Compounding these identity issues with the side-effect it has on how subs are viewed by newcomers, I can’t bring myself to participate in a system that would diminish those who don’t follow a certain path; the proof is in the pudding, not the recipe.

Despite how much I appreciate the sentiment behind leather’s approach to cultivating Doms, I think it is based on an overestimation of how relatable or translatable experiences are. When you over-emphasize the value of how you experienced something, it downplays how unique every person’s experiences are; nothing in your history will help you understand what a boy is feeling as you accidentally dig up a buried childhood memory, or the fear a boy feels as you stumble upon a phobia even he was unaware of. The ability to understand what someone else is going through does not come from having experienced it yourself, but rather respecting that you couldn’t possibly understand it yourself. To put it more productively, the first thing on a Dom’s mind should not be looking to his own experiences, it should be making 100% sure he is being receptive to everything his boy is communicating.

As we consider ensuring the healthy growth of the community and empowering a new wave of both Doms and subs, our focus should instead be on encouraging a universal standard of respect: identity, experiences, preferences, and negotiated consent should all be honored, immutably. When we have a paradigm that enables discrediting one’s experiences based on their methodology, we’ve already torn down one of these pillars and replaced it with an emphasis on esteem. The reason these particular pillars should be immutable is that they relate to an individual’s dynamics with specific individuals, which is no one’s business but those involved. No one should be obligated to bow to a part of someone’s identity that is irrelevant to them, and adults should be mature enough to understand that a person’s dynamics with others does not necessarily impact their own. Two play partners should be able to switch as they see fit without it altering their dynamic and, inversely, a sub locked into an exclusively submissive dynamic should be able to feel the Dom’s control even if someone has him in layers of rope and hoods. Let people hash out their own dynamics and they will continually strengthen them in whatever ways they feel are healthy for those involved

If we can encourage respecting others’ dynamics as described above, we reduce things like kink-shaming and end up creating an environment that is conducive to exploration. It empowers people not only to trust their own experiences, but to feel that they are in control of what happens between them instead of feeling obligated to proceed a certain way. What’s more is it doesn’t preclude people having very rigid dynamics, it simply empowers everyone involved to make their own decisions free of judgment.

CBT Burst

Just a quick CBT vid. Started the scene with a regular Dom by restraining myself in an 8-point spread eagle, hooded, and with pulleys running rope from my head to my balls so that if I lifted my head it'd pull on my balls. Unfortunately he had to let my balls down before this part d/t them getting rubbed raw. :-(